The scarlet-lipped YouTube sensation teaches us how to keep our dating woes at bae.
If you haven’t heard of Miranda Sings yet, then the rock you live under is probably the one that killed the dinosaurs. Or the one the pilgrims landed on. Either way, get with the program.
With half a billion views to her name, and only several hundred million of those mine, she’s the reason the share button exists on Facebook.
Don’t call her a one-trick pony though. Her name may be Miranda Sings, but as it turns out, she writes, too.
Her new book Selp Helf — titled as such to shamelessly capitalize on the lucrative dyslexic market, no doubt — is the perfect encapsulation of her unique brand of comedic lunacy. A miracle of modern publishing, it’s the only book that can both teach you how to draw a hotdog AND why dressing up cats is an invaluable and very necessary life skill.
So naturally, we needed to know her perspective on love. Yes, the same Miranda Sings that has been known to say “no cuddling until marriage.” What did we learn? Hiding behind her weapons-grade silliness, Miranda Sings has some SUPER-solid relationship advice to dispense:
1. Getting over a broken heart: Just stop being sad (or get revenge).
In Selp Helf, Miranda says, “Sometimes the boy will break up with you. If this happens you will need to learn how to get over a broken heart because no one likes sad people. It’s annoying.”
Tired of sulking over your latest breakup? Then simply choose not to. Psychological research has shown that happy is a conscious decision. The first step toward overcoming a bad breakup is deciding to be happy again. If you opt for the revenge route, just remember the best revenge is living well.
2. Style: Red lips up your dating game.
I know what you’re thinking: “Uhh, are we talking about the clown face at the top of this article?” Kinda, yeah. Science has proven that the color red has a major positive effect on attractiveness.
According to Psychology Today, “Red is experienced as attraction booster by both sexes” and “the effect of the color red is significant, unique, and that it operates at a sub-conscious level.” So bust out the red lipstick like Miranda. Just remember to stay inside the lines when you do it.
3. Courtship: Act uninterested and bored to hurt their feelings.
Another gem from Selp Helf, Miranda lists this under her first date etiquette. Why is this brilliant dating advice? Well, because playing a little hard to get actually makes your date want you more.
Don’t take it from me. Take it from Psychology Today: “Put simply, playing hard to get works when your potential partner is already interested and when they think you are 'likeable' and nice, but are not yet passionate about you. In that situation, being a little bit of a challenge can increase their perception of your value as a lover and motivate them to chase you more. When people are denied what they want (even a little), they tend to want it all the more.”
4. The perfect relationship: Any and every relationship that you're in.
You’re probably only in (or aiming to be in) one relationship, but it’s the perspective from Miranda that’s spot on.
When you’re going through relationship troubles, it can be easy to become pessimistic and let that negative energy become a vicious cycle. Your problems make you pessimistic, and that pessimism makes more problems until that feedback loop turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy that dooms your relationship.
On the other hand, if you’re optimistic about your relationships, you’re much more willing to put in the energy and work to create a positive feedback loop instead. Your relationship is better because you care about it more and try harder to make it better. Channel Miranda and treat every relationship like it’s the perfect relationship.
5. Breaking up: Invite them on a date with your new boyfriend.
OK, don’t LITERALLY do this. It’s a recipe for disaster and restraining orders. It’s the sentiment that counts: When you break up with your partner, you need to be super blunt and direct. Leave no question that it’s over.
Rip the band-aid off quickly and don’t call the band-aid at three in the morning drunk asking it to cover your wound... You get what we mean.
6. First date conversation topics: How many kids do you want?
Really? Yes, really. Everybody has deal-breakers. Whether they’re the desire (or lack thereof) for children or religion, we all have our limits to what we’ll accept in a partner.
And honestly, it’s best to get any potential deal-breakers out in the open from the start. It just saves everybody time and potentially heartache down the line.
Need more than just love advice? Check out Selp Helf.