You don't need more friends, you need REAL friends.
Friendship is a complicated human equation. It not only evolves with time, it also evolves with you.
Someone rightly said, "As you grow old, you realize it becomes less important to have more friends and more important to have real friends." I have had good friends turn bad on me, acquaintances turn into real good friends and some that I know are just there and have always been and always will be.
So, how many friends are too many or how do you sort out the real ones? While you are at it, here is a list of 10 friends you need to get rid of right away.
1. The Unhappy One
You know that one friend that will whine about anything and everything. Nothing is ever perfect. There is no concept of being happy in the moment.
There is something always wrong with life, and everything is their fault. Over time, such people tend to pass on their negativity on to you. One day, that negativity piles on to you and makes you a whiner in life. Before that happens, either confront this person and ask them to change their ways or part ways, immediately.
2. The Hypocrite
At least the whiner would say everything's their fault, but the hypocrite will blame everything on the world. Nothing is ever their fault. They are always victims of situations or people or the natural order of things.
They will never accept responsibility for their actions but will be quick to warn you of the consequences of your actions. You still think it's a good idea being friends? Only god can save you.
3. The One Who Pulls You Down
Criticism is good, right? What if criticism is all you ever get from this one person in your life whom you consider to be a good friend?
Every time you share something, there is a snarky remark awaiting you. When you try something new, they make fun of you for trying to be original.
If it is all in good fun, no harm, no foul. However, if you feel this friend is pulling you down at every opportunity they get, you need to let go. More so, if they expect you to criticize them in private but ridicule you in public and get upset when you do the same. Honestly, let go.
4. The Penny Pincher
We all have one in our lives, and we have all met one: the quintessential penny-pincher. They are good to have in your life as long as they can teach you a few tricks to hold on to your money and warn you when your shopping is getting out of bounds.
However, if they expect you to loosen your purse strings at every outing and expect you to shower them with gifts without expecting anything in return, get rid of them now. You are not in the buying friends business and the sooner they know that, the better.
5. The Emotional Freeloader
This one is easy to spot when you become the dumping ground for all their moods and they only have one: a bad one. If it goes on for too long, you may start detesting yourself and wonder if you are such a bad person to be around.
I mean, how can a person be in a foul mood when you are around them, right? Unless you want to be THAT person, I would suggest you look for an exit right away. Who wants to get scarred for life, no?
6. The One Who Forgets
They will forget everything -- where they were supposed to meet you for lunch, when your birthday was, that important meeting at work that you mentioned 10 times in the last week because you were a nervous wreck. Let it go if you happen to be the one that easily forgives and forgets and if this friend of yours is worth all that effort. However, if that is something you would rather not deal with, it is time to go your own ways.
7. The Absent One
To put it simply, this is the one friend who is never present for important occasions, for life-altering events or at that time when you needed them most. Keep them at an arm's distance, if this has happened one too many times. After all, what are friends for if not for knowing that someone always has your back?
8. The Selfish One
People are different when they are on their way to make a new bond. We are cordial, and we don't show our unpleasant sides.
As familiarity grows, so does contempt. Selfishness is one such trait; it becomes more and more evident as a relationship grows.
You go to places they want to visit, you eat at restaurants they like and you watch movies that they want to watch because you would rather give in to them then confront them for their selfish behavior. So before the feeling of being a doormat sinks in, look for the nearest door and get the hell out of there.
9. The Backbiter
You have told this one person a secret you don't want shared with anyone and before you know it, half the town knows. You didn't tell anyone else, and no matter what this friend says, there was no way for it to make its way around the world on its own.
So whether it is stealing your secrets, your money or sabotaging you with the information you share with them, this one is a no-brainer. Unless, they are the last person remaining on earth, abort the mission.
10. The Diplomat
This one is actually tricky because the world needs diplomats. They bring peace and harmony where there is chaos.
However, in friendship, diplomacy is tricky. If a friend has never stood up for you, is always out to make peace of the situation and would never take your side in event of a public spat even though you are right, it is time to let them go.
They will never give you straight answers, only maybes. They are always stuck in the middle and always out to please everyone. These people are really good to have when you have a large group of friends, but one-on-one relationships are tricky with them.
This article was originally published at BlogHer. Reprinted with permission from the author.