Why would you even want someone who doesn't want you?
Your boyfriend wants someone else. He thinks about her when he's with you, he imagines her arms around him instead of yours; heck, even during your most passionate moments in bed he's thinking about her. Who is this mysterious woman?
It's the imaginary GIGS (Grass Is Greener Syndrome) woman that every man thinks he deserves. You see, I have this theory that every man is always comparing your relationship to the best relationship he ever had.
Confused? Don't be. I'm going to break this down for you.
Let's pretend that we could rate every relationship your boyfriend has had on a scale from 1 to 10 (1 being a horrible relationship, and 10 being a perfect relationship).
I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say that you have a great relationship with your boyfriend, but it's not absolutely perfect. Let's give it a 9 out of 10. (Hey, a 9 out of 10 is pretty good.) Well, when your boyfriend looks at your 9 out of 10, he's always comparing it to his best past relationship.
In other words, if his best past relationship was only a 7 out of 10, and your current relationship with your boyfriend is a 9 out of 10, that means you've taken over first place as his "best relationship."
But let's look at a situation where you aren't his best relationship.
Let's say you initially had a "relationship score" of 9 out of 10, but constant bickering or a lack of communication dropped your "relationship score" to a 6 out of 10. Oh, and since his past relationship was a 7 out of 10 you haven't beaten his best relationship, and you run the risk of him having GIGS (Grass Is Greener Syndrome.)
But what exactly is GIGS?
Grass Is Greener Syndrome: A syndrome that makes your boyfriend think he can find someone better than you.
In fact, GIGS is responsible for a lot of breakups. I mean, it's easy for you and your boyfriend to be in the middle of a fight where he was caught flirting with another woman (as men usually do), and have him stop and say, "You know what? I don't have to take this. I deserve someone who will trust me."
And he breaks up with you right there and then because he thinks he can do better. Of course, something interesting can happen with the GIGS that hardly anyone talks about.
While it's true that a boyfriend can get GIGS in his relationship, it can also backfire on him when you consider that sometimes, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
Now, this begs an interesting question: What if your boyfriend has the grass is greener syndrome right now? How can you tell?
Luckily, I've put together a killer list of the 5 signs you need to watch out for. Then you'll be able to tell if your boyfriend is starting to get GIGS:
1. He progressively becomes more and more disconnected.
As a couple, you've probably noticed that you can always tell when something is off with your boyfriend. For example, if he were to get quiet all of a sudden when he's never been quiet, you'll know subconsciously that something's wrong with him.
If you start to notice that your boyfriend becomes more and more disconnected from your relationship as time goes on, that may be cause for concern.
I don't want you to think your boyfriend is getting GIGS if you just catch him being disconnected one time. Remember, the keyword we're focusing on is "progressively." In other words, if it happens more frequently over time that's a red flag.
2. He progressively flirts with other women.
"Progressively" ... there's that word again. Remember, we're looking for his behavior to get worse over time, but let's get down to the business of flirting.
All men love to be admired. So, it makes sense that a little harmless flirting can occur every now and then. But what if that harmless flirting isn't so harmless?
What if your boyfriend finds a girl that makes him feel like he can do better than you? What if he flirts with this girl constantly and doesn't even have the decency of hiding their stupid flirty text messages from you? Well, you might have a problem.
3. He doesn't want to be around you as much.
When you're dating someone it stands to reason that for your relationship with them to thrive, you're going to have to spend time in person together. But what if your boyfriend doesn't want to?
I mean, what if, at the beginning of your relationship with your boyfriend, he wanted nothing more than to be around you. But now, you literally have to beg him to spend any time together. Yep, bad sign.
4. He picks fights with you all the time.
When I was young my father gave me the best advice I've ever heard. He told me to look at a relationship with your significant other like a bank account.
Any time you have a good experience it's like putting money into the "relationship account." Any time you have a bad experience — like a fight, big disagreement, or something of that nature — it's like taking money out of the relationship account.
Fighting is something that actually happens when your boyfriend has GIGS on his mind.
5. He flat-out tells you.
If at some point he mutters the words, "I could do better than you," or, "I know a million girls that would be better than you," you know with 100 percent certainty that he has some type of GIGS. And you should probably move on.
My name is Chris Seiter and I'm a professional relationship consultant. More specifically, I help men and women save their relationships. I currently own and operate three large websites in the relationship space: Ex Boyfriend Recovery, Ex Girlfriend Recovery, and My Marriage Helper.