Seriously, Who Gives A Sh*t About Sororities?

Photo: YouTube
Self, Family

Getting offended only means they matter.

A lot of people are getting worked up about this video for the University of Alabama Alphi Phi sorority's chapter:


I am not one of them.

I could barely bring myself to watch the entire thing.

Not because I was offended or upset in any way ... It's just so boring. Like, I get that I'm supposed to care, but I just can't bring myself to do it.

There are women who choose to live this way, and that's their business. If people feel like they have to pay for their friends, to have some sort of homogeneous built-in social structure, they're going to do it somehow, be it a Greek system or just being clique-y. (Remember how all the goths hung out together in high school and all looked exactly the same, because they were like, so different and above it all? Same idea.)

Some people got fussy over the fact that these girls all bounced their boobs around. I say, while your boobs are still high up, do what you want with them. They're yours. Some people got annoyed that all the women in the video looked basically (a deliberately chosen term, mind you) the same. But no one looked into the reasoning for that: Maybe more interesting-looking people just didn't want to join a group that seems to do a lot of nothing.

I mean, I'm not enticed by this. Are you? (Also, are you a bro? Because that may affect your response. Keep that in mind.)

Some people think these young women are interested in nothing than appealing to the male gaze. That may or may not be true: There may be future doctors, engineers and moguls in this group, but if you're trying to get people to pledge to something that's supposed to be fun, are you going to show footage of yourselves studying? It seems a little sexist to assume that these gals are nothing beyond their appearances based on a mere four-minute commercial.

That said, I don't feel the need to judge these Alpha Phi women because I just don't care enough about them. Maybe that's because they all seem interchangeable. Is it a little desperate and sad that their pride seemingly comes from highlights and bubbles and glitter? Maybe. But if they're happy, who cares?

If they want to sell themselves this way because they think that's the best they have to offer, maybe they're right about that. They know themselves better than we know them, right?

The best we can all do is just know and teach others that it's important to be happy with ourselves for who we are and what we do, and to have intrinsic motivations and interests that make us multi-dimensional human beings. And if those interests happen to be include melanoma, peroxide, and sparkles, who am I to judge?

It doesn't seem intriguing to me, but maybe those girls don't appreciate my interests in Street FighterThe Walking Dead or steak. That's their business.

If these girls are happy, let them be happy. And if they're not, let them see the light eventually on their own. These young women may or may not be MENSA candidates — again, I don't know, nor do I care — but I think it's safe to say that these ladies aren't the downfall of civilization, either.

And if they are, well, civilization had to have been pretty f*cked to begin with.

But seriously guys, can I do something else now? Jesus Christ, I'm just so bored.


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