Heartbreak

It's Totally Healthy To Complain About Your Spouse, Says Doctor

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It's Totally Healthy To B*tch About Your Relationship

Relationships are roller coasters of emotions and stressful to maintain.

Although you may be really in love and connected to each other, there are just certain things your man may do that really tick you off. And then, there are times when he's just way too adorable to handle.

If you don't scream your happiness or anger from the mountaintops, you might explode.

That's why women (and men) find it necessary to find some type of outlet before their mind bursts. But there's a common belief that indulging in your friends as your relationship therapists is wrong. It's simply none of their business what goes on between the two of you.

Well, I'll gladly burst your bubble and tell you that's a hunk of baloney ... and I have scientific research to prove it.

According to psychotherapist Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D. author of Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting About The Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage, it's important to have a least one friend to vent about and discuss your relationship with, the good and bad aspects.

In Women's Health Magazine, Tessina explains, "Sharing with a supportive and discreet friend means we can 'normalize' the things that happen that we may be blowing out of proportion in our own minds. A good friend should help talk you down from the crazy stuff, not pump it up."

This is the perfect stress-reliever to help you think clearly through any situation with your partner.

Getting an outside perspective from someone who knows the two of you well can help you see what your issue actually looks like, and make you realize that in heated situations you might be the one in the wrong (which clearly only happens once in a while).

You can return to an issue with a clear head and listen to what your partner has to say, coming to a compromise. And then, you be lovey dovey again, which is what you both really want.

But in the words of Walter White, "Tread lightly." Try to find a friend who won't repeat the things you tell them about your guy. He can get super mad if he finds out that you told your girlfriend something intimate about your relationship. Then you'll have another tense issue on your hands.

It's also important to be careful about exactly what you say and how you say it, because you can turn your friend against your partner. If you only tell your friend the bad situations and aspects about your relationship, you're going to paint your partner in a bad light.

Add in some happy experiences and qualities about your partner, and your friend won't resent your boyfriend so much for driving you crazy.

So, which friend is your honorary relationship therapist? 

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