Grandma said it best: “Ain’t nothing open after midnight but legs.”
The last thing any woman wants to do the night she has a hot date with a guy she’s into is blow it.
Before settling down and finding love, relationship expert Kevin Carr went on a lot of dates, and remembers that women often make the same mistakes.
Here are 10 mistake he says you can (and should) avoid.
1. Absolutely no first dates in the living room — yours or his.
This sends the wrong message to a man. It tells him that you are entirely too comfortable too soon. If you spend the first date on his couch, where will you spend the second?
2. Grandma said it best: “Ain’t nothing open after midnight but legs.”
The later the hour the more relaxed you become. This makes it especially hard to pay attention to detail, which is imperative on a first date.
Plus, dates scheduled earlier in the day allow for more flexibility. For example, if you hit it off, you may want to add another activity to the date that wasn’t originally planned. Can you do that at 2 a.m.?
3. Clothes = required.
Men are visual. The first thing we see often determines the first thing we think, so remember to dress "appropriately" on a first date.
Yes, be sexy, but don’t let it all hang out. Leave something for the imagination; guessing is a good thing, as it will add to a man’s intrigue.
4. No job interviews.
“Where do you work?” “How much do you make?” “What are your future plans?” No one likes interrogations on a first date. Cultivating conversation and listening intently will reveal everything that you need to know about him. Give it time.
5. Ditch the attitude.
Believe it or not, men are often nervous on first dates too. Smile and be approachable. He is busy trying to make a good first impression with you, so throw him a bone.
Unless, of course, he’s a dog and then he had it coming.
6. No M-bombs.
7. Let's talk about sex. Just not on the first date.
Your conversation tells a lot about where your mind is and reveals pieces of your character. Men observe this and act accordingly. Conversation goes a long way in creating the perceptions of the mind. Remember that.
8. Check your insecurities at the door.
For men, being insecure is either a turn on or a turn off. Either way, you lose. Being sure of yourself is important. Confidence is contagious but its absence cannot be hidden. Have confidence in who you are. A real man will find that sexy!
9. Go home alone.
It’s true, we are all adults, and we have the right to do what we please with our bodies.
That said, when you’re looking to establish a healthy relationship, sex on the first date is a very bad idea. If you give him all of you, all at once, he has no incentive to pursue you further. You deserve better.
This article was originally published at Essence. Reprinted with permission from the author.