Love, Self

The SCARY Effect Porn Has On A Man's Ability To Commit To You

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relationship

Men watch porn, women watch porn, and porn is now more easily accessible than ever. We're fascinated by everything pornographic. The porn industry is huge and has become more than just socially acceptable; it's become cool.

Porn stars are no longer relegated to to X-rated movies and strip clubs; they're authors, entrepreneurs, and are often seen dating Hollywood royalty. 

Porn stars are celebrities in their own right, but is the porn-industry affecting our relationships in ways that we don't even realize? Have we become too comfortable in the world of adult films?

In a recent study, University of Tennessee researchers looked at whether pornography had an influence on men's romantic relationships. The researchers examined the pornography viewing habits of 373 young men who were in heterosexual relationships.

The men were asked to complete a number of questionnaires that measured the frequency of their porn watching, and if porn interfered or negatively affected their daily life. They found that the porn affects relationships more significantly than most people think.

The researchers discovered that men's porn viewing has a strong influence on their romantic relationships, how they view gender roles, and how porn affects attachment styles. Beliefs often labeled as sexist arise from the rigidly-defined gender roles of porn, and can result in the devaluation or violation of the opposite sex.

If men watch too much porn, they may start to develop negative and stereotypical views of women, sexually aggressive behavior, an increased chance of forcing sex, and acceptance of sexual harassment. They'll act out  scenes they see in porn with their own partners.

If all you watch are rape fantasies, your view of emotional and physical intimacy is going to get messed up.

The study also found that men who frequently watched porn were positively associated with gender-role conflict, insecure attachment, lower relationship quality, and decreased sexual satisfaction.

Pornography can create unrealistic expectations about a partner and sexual behavior. Porn has been shown to weaken commitment in a partnership because it creates a totally false impression of what a normal body looks like, and what sexual behavior is all about. Sex should be a mutually satisfying experience for both partners, not just the gratification of one partner. 

When you take all your relationship cues from porn, you think sex is what binds couples together, instead of emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy, not sexual intimacy, is what makes a person feel valued, cherished, loved, and appreciated.

If all you are is a tool for someone else's sexual release, you won't get everything you need out of the relationship.