Alternate title: Beware of hipsters.
We all know someone who's "too cool," seemingly for life itself. They act like they're above anything anybody likes, to a point where you wonder if they even enjoy anything at all.
What's it like to love someone who will never love anything?
It might seem like you're something special to be one of the very few things this person gives a f*ck about. But sadly, this "too cool" attitude is a sign of serious narcissism, and you'll never be returned the love you give. Here's how you can tell:
1. They talk down to you about anything art-related.
God forbid you have a guilty pleasure or genuinely enjoy Taylor Swift on occasion. The "too cool" guy is most definitely above mainstream pop music; therefore, this gives him the authority to act like he has a PhD in music history and theory.
OK dude, you listen to the indie playlist on Spotify and only like bands who play the washboard. We get it.
2. They act like being with them is a privilege.
Out of all the people in the world he could hang out with (because he's cool enough to get FaceTime with anybody, right?), he chose you. You should be thanking him for gracing you with the majestic aura of his presence. Bask in his glow and be thankful for it.
Or, just find someone who's more in love with you than themselves.
3. They're perpetually underwhelmed.
Somewhere along the line, the image of the enigmatic cool guy translated to being emotionally detached and unimpressed by every situation.
They have to maintain an air of disinterest because actual enthusiasm might mean the situation/event/thing is cooler than they are. And that's just unthinkable.
4. They act like they're "helping you," even if you don't need it.
Someone who's "too cool" thinks they have all the answers. They'll volunteer their opinion even when you expressly don't want or need it, because they think you aren't capable of handling it like they could.
If you come home from an eyebrow waxing and they suggest you get your upper lip done at the same time because it's more convenient, that's what I'm talking about. It's like the backhanded compliment of advice.
5. They always act confused by what you want to do.
Someone who thinks they're super rad can't imagine a universe where what they're into isn't objectively considered the best.
"Oh, you wanted to go see the new Avengers movie? Do you know one of the actors in it or something?"
This is the conversation that happens right before they try to drag you to an art gallery exhibiting sculptures on the emotions of kale or some sh*t.
6. They sh*t talk everyone else behind their back.
Occasionally, your "too cool" dude has to remind themselves of that fact. The easiest way to feel like you're above everyone else is to make sure everyone else is beneath you.