GIRL: 10 Signs He's Not Hot, You're Just Drunk

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Love, Self

This is a public service announcement.

We've all done it. We go out, have a couple of drunks, meet somebody, and think, "Wow, they're great!" Turns out, you had a few more drinks than you realize, and no, they're not great.

They're not great at all. In fact, they're awful.

Beer goggles are the worst, and they effect everybody. The problem is, drinking is great. It's probably the best thing you can do when you're not driving, or at work, or taking care of your kids.

You don't want to give up drinking, but you're also sick of giving your number to the wrong people.

Well, as an experienced drinker, I'm here to help. The next time you're out and you aren't sure if you're talking to the real deal, follow these steps. They're easy and they'll save you from tons of awkward situations.

Here's how to tell that he's not cute; you're just drunk.

You think you're talking to this guy ...
Photo: Giphy
Christian Bale from The Dark Knight
... but the next morning, you find out that he's really THIS guy.

How do you avoid this?
Bobby Moynihan from Saturday Night Live
He's doing a lot of unexpected things you find charming. Guess what? He's not spontaneous; you're just drunk and easily amused.
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Jake Johnson from New Girl
He's bordering between messy and sloppy. There's a difference between a guy who has messy hair and stubble, and guy who has a wet spot on his shirt from where he spilled his beer.
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Kristin Wiig from Saturday Night Live
He's being SUPER loud. Cute guys don't need to try to get attention; it just comes to them.
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Steve Carrell from The Office
He's trying too hard. And there's a reason for that. It's because he has to.
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Charlie Day from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
It seems like he wants you to keep drinking. If he's trying to make sure that you stay drunk, there's an obvious reason.
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James Doohan from Star Trek
He's wearing a dumb hat. He's peacocking. Only losers peacock.
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Nick Offerman from Parks and Rec
He wants you to do shots with him. Seriously, shots? Shots never lead to anything good, and they're never offered by classy guys.
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Christopher Reeve from Superman 3
He's bragging about peeing in his robotic armor. Come on, seriously? You still think he's cute after doing that? You're hopeless.
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Robert Downey Jr from Iron Man 2



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