If you need us, we'll just be over there in our Parkas in the middle of Spring ... plus the other not-so-cool (pun intended) struggles of feeling like you're in the Arctic 24/7:
1. What is going ON in restaurants, museums, and movie theaters in the summer? Is this a cruel evolutionary prank to phase cold people out of the genetic pool?
TURN DOWN THE AC.
2. 87 percent of the world's cardigan purchases are made by us.
You're welcome, Banana Republic.
3. Hot tubs and saunas > Pools and oceans.
All day, everyday.
4. Winter socks are just socks for us.
5. Speaking of winter socks, those babies are packed front and center in our airplane carry-on. (See #1.)
6. And speaking of airplanes, we immediately turn off the AC knob that's blasting directly into our FACE as soon as we take our seats.
7. Similarly, we hate everyone who doesn't turn off their AC knobs, specifically the overheated, sweating, tank-topped dude next to us.
Really, bro? REALLY?
8. We have space-heaters under our desk, even though it's against company policy.
F*ck that; we're cold.
9. We will pay an exorbitant rate for the indoor parking lot because we can't even in January.
10. Your home and car AC temperature has turned into the Temple Mount: constantly battled over.
11. You have those instant heat hand warmers just, like, laying around your house as though they were ponytail holders.
12. Open windows > AC. NOT EVEN A CONTEST.