Give us Tanqueray or give us death.
Before modern medicine, alcohol was the go-to remedy for many ailments. One of the most prominent spirits used to treat sickness was gin, with its odd mix of botanicals and herbs. Though today we rely a little less on the booze and a little more on penicillin, gin is still a popular drink choice worldwide.
In that light, here's a prescription with seven reasons to love a woman who drinks gin. (It just might save your life.) And let it be known that I am not a doctor.
1. She's got a dry sense of humor.
Maybe she's born with it; maybe it's Maybelline. Who knows, I'm not a scientist (though I've often played one in many of my own fantasies).
Regardless, one of my best buds drinks gin and she's got one of the wittiest, liberal, and most acerbic minds when it comes to comedy. Also, we both prefer and enjoy Hendricks when ordering a gin and tonic.
Coincidence? I think not. Scientists don't believe in coincidence.
2. She's open-minded and curious.
Gin might be the most difficult of the big five liquors to drink as the flavor is often described as "tasting like pine trees." Whoever ate a pine tree and then drank gin to make this comparison, I know not ... but I get it.
Unlike rum (distilled from sugar cane) and tequila (agave plants), which naturally come from sweet sources, the only distinctive, unifying trait amongst gin varietals is the juniper berry. Yep, I don't know what those look and taste like either.
All I know is when I was younger, I once snuck a sip of gin out of where my parents hid their liquor. After ten-year-old me stopped coughing and gagging for the proceeding twenty seconds, I vowed to stick to Hi-C and CapriSun for the time being.
3. She's got an old soul.
The gin drinking lady appreciates the classier thing in life. While you're busy downloading the new chart-topper on iTunes from T-Swizzle (featuring Izzy Ig and Mickey Mirage), she's got her playlist bumping everything from Mozart to Motown.
She's probably read most of Tolstoy and can still tear up from watching Gone With the Wind, despite having watched it a hundred times. She's got Bette Davis eyes and they're looking at you, kid.
4. She's intelligent.
To my knowledge, most women who order gin from the bar are those who have professional jobs, meaning they all work at doing something that requires great use from both sides of their brain — the creative and the analytical.
Teachers, writers, financial analysts — you name it. And to be honest, I can't recall a professional model ever ordering a gin and tonic, either. (They tend to stick to vodka-based drinks.) No offense to people who get a check for being almost completely naked on a magazine cover, of course.
5. She's quiet.
Don't confuse this with being shy! I can't stress that enough. Introversion and shyness are two completely different personality traits and are mutually exclusive.
That being said, while the other girls at the bar are busy yelling (begging) for attention from the bartender and asking (screaming) for Jolly Rancher shots, your gin drinking gal is casually sipping her martini, behaving like a human being, and talking to me and anyone else worth talking to about actual transgressions.
She's definitely NOT talking about what's happening on TMZ or the name of the British royal babies.
6. Speaking of England, she's probably from the UK.
Gin is a spirit that began in Europe and grew in popularity with our buddies across the Atlantic. The two big gin manufacturers that distribute worldwide are Bombay and Tanqueray, both originally based out of England.
Though it was popular in America from the Prohibition era up until the middle part of the century, gin eventually lost favor to vodka, rum, and tequila. However, gin still has a strong footprint in its country of oriGin (see what I did there?).
7. She's probably ... a he.
Seriously, gin might be the least-ordered spirit by women at the bar. I can count on one hand those who did order it with regularity and didn't switch it up for that glass of wine or Cosmopolitan.
This isn't any form of passing judgment, either. It is what it is. Simply put, most of the time it's a man who orders a gin-based cocktail — and an older one at that.