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Why You Should Experience AMAZING Self Love Firsthand (Wink, Wink)

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Self, Sex

Happy National Masturbation Month!

Never has there been a better time to shine a bright, loving light on the art of self pleasuring

Ever since former Surgeon General Joycelyn Elders got fired for having the guts to suggest that schools teach masturbation as part of sex education 20 years ago, has led the way to celebrating of solo sex.

Even though it has been 20 years, as a 62-year-old solo sex expert, I still find it very difficult to talk about my orgasmic life with my friends. Most blush, turn away or wince at the mere whisper of the word masturbation

I think that's a crime. Solo sex is great sex. Solo sex is also safe sex.

Orgasms are a natural human experience everyone should have whenever they want, but that doesn't necessarily mean you must find a partner.

Did you know over 50% of population in the US is single? There's more forced abstinence going on than ever. Why forced abstinence? It's a dangerous world out there. If you're over 50, female and have a healthy libido you're vulnerable financially as well as sexually. A woman with no sex life who meets a man with mad love-making skills is going to want to have that man. Even if nothing about him is good for her—even if he's a creep.

Enter: Solo sex.

Thankfully, there's a lot of soft porn and erotica available online. It's very easy for a woman to find sexual entertainment anytime she wants. There's nothing like a sexed-up, fully orgasmic woman. When orgasm comes when you are by yourself, you know yourself in a new way. You might look at men differently and maybe even make better decisions.  

Should masturbation be taught in sex ed? You bet. Last time I checked, it's impossible to get pregnant having solo sex. And yes, I'm going to say it, if kids knew how to masturbate themselves (and each other), it could delay actual intercourse before they're ready ... just saying.

I don't remember when they fired Joycelyn. I was deeply involved with my Christian Bible Study in those days. If I met her today, I would shake her hand and thank her.

Masturbation was not cursed in my world, but it wasn't celebrated either.

My family was Catholic. I never heard the words sex and fun in the same sentence until I was 50. Introverted and awkward socially as a young woman, I couldn't bring it up. I would never have written an article like this. Heck, I don't think I would have even read an article like this.

When I was 60, I discovered that texting with an attentive and charming guy from half a world away was as exciting as making out in the back seat of a car. Seriously, my body responded to his texts as if he were in the room with me. The resulting multiple orgasmic experience shocked and thrilled me.  

It was deeply moving to feel turned on like that when I was alone. My body finally relaxed while I was by myself more deeply than with any I've ever been with. I had the deepest orgasm ever when I was alone. I definitely didn’t see that coming.

That orgasm changed me and ended up healing years of low self-esteem.

My next partner was a man who loved pleasuring a woman. He was patient and when the timing was right, I found that I could respond to him more freely too. (Sex with the right man under the right circumstances is always different because there's nothing like having a man's hands on a woman's body.) But most of the sex I have is solo. I'm not promiscuous, and I'm extremely selective when I date. I like being safe. And solo sex keeps me in my right mind when I meet men.

Also, masturbation is a great anti depressant.

I swear I tripled my energy. I motivated myself to move and get a new job. My self-confidence grew by leaps and bounds. I started writing again after a two-year hiatus. All this while I healed from my divorce and stayed healthy and safe.

I find a lot of choices in sexual entertainment online, and they're not X-rated at all.

Arousal is the goal. Think 50 Shades or JD Robb, not Deep Throat. Try a classy site like Angel's Fantasyland for some fun cougar cub fantasies or

I hope you will join the conversation. has a fabulous campaign going on to support National Masturbation Month. They’ve launched #PleasureIsYourBirthright and #SexyAtEverySize as movements throughout social media to try to alter sex-negative perceptions and to reaffirm the idea that pleasure and sexual health is for everyone. To participate, post a photo with why self-pleasure is important to you, to sex education, and to society using the hashtag #MasturbationIs.

Radical self-love has a story, and yours may just inspire another closeted solo sex expert to step out and say, "YES!"

Let's put sex and fun in the same sentence, come out of the pink closet and tell our friends and loved ones that self-pleasure in masturbation is NOT embarrassing. It's a natural, fun, safe and no-cost stress relief.

Think about it, no one helps you sneeze. Nobody helps you pee. No one yawns for you. Why should your natural, rhythmic beautiful full body orgasm only come from the efforts of someone else?

Catherine Behan is a Dating, Sex and Intimacy Coach practicing in San Diego, CA. For a free 20 minute chat to explore your Sexual Confidence or lack thereof, click here.


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