There's nothing wrong with being promiscuous. Hell, it might just improve your life!
By Samantha Storm — Written on Mar 25, 2015
Our society is one big double standard, but I'm sure you realize that. You're damned no matter what choices you make. If you're overweight, you're unhealthy; if you're skinny, you're on drugs. If you don't drink, you're boring; if you do drink, you're a lush. If you don't have sex, you're a prude; if you do have sex, you're a slut.
I'm being super candid about this because I was once a wild college girl, bar-hopping each week, drinking and dancing almost every night and having sex with multiple men. I was promiscuous; I won't deny it.
Why would I put that all out in the open? Aren't I afraid people will call me a slut after reading this piece? No, not really because:
- I don't use "slut" to describe other women's sexual choices. As Mean Girls taught me, "You all have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores; it just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores." It's a muck term that tells a woman her sexual behavior is wrong.
- Sex is NOT something dirty. I'm not ashamed of it and I certainly won't let other people's opinions change the decisions I make. My sexuality and sex life is mine, not anyone else's. I think we can all learn to be more open about sex … it is a part of life, isn't it?
- I couldn't give a sh*t about what people think of me. If you don't care what people have to say about you, then who cares? This is YOUR life and nobody has the right to pass judgment on you (especially if they're trying to cover up their own actions by putting yours down). It is all about being happy with you. Do you like who YOU are?
I'm putting this out there because I believe there are surprisingly positive aspects to promiscuous behavior:
1. You get a nice confidence boost.
It takes a lot of balls (or tits, I guess?) to get naked in front of someone you don't know or aren't monogamous with. Even if you do know the person, intimacy changes the way you think. Nakedness leaves you vulnerable; there is nothing to cover your imperfections and flaws. You're out in the open.
2. You feel better about your body.
Body positivity is so important, especially for women; we are overly sexualized in every corner of the media. It truly improves your life when you start to feel good about your outside appearance, as well as your inner self. We are all guilty of judging ourselves way too harshly sometimes and it starts taking a toll on your self-esteem.
You say to yourself, "Will he see my huge calves?" "Do you think he'll notice my cellulite?" "What if my weight turns him off?" A whole list of worries for no reason! After being naked in front of so many men I learned that guys LOVE confidence. It didn't matter if I thought my stomach looked fat or my legs weren't toned; I OWNED it and had sex with confidence. Also, he was probably too busy staring at all my other wonderful features *wink*.
3. You learn what you like and don't like in bed.
Nobody wants to have bad sex, but men are not mind readers. I once slept with a guy who was all about hard thrusting and rough sex but I didn't say anything for fear of making him feel bad. Could I have made the sex more enjoyable by speaking up? Absolutely.
Sex isn't a one-way street; it's about mutual satisfaction. It can be difficult to get out of your own head and stop overthinking every move, but don't be afraid to tell him what feels good. Men appreciate what you have to say, especially if it's constructive criticism that will help him please you better. Trust me, making sure your partner is satisfied is a huge turn-on.
4. You get a great taste of variety.
Like Forrest Gump says, "Life is like a box of chocolates; you never know what you're gonna get." It applies directly to sex. You don't know if your hookup will be strictly missionary, super-kinky, or the right mix of passionate until you get him in the sheets.
Every encounter is a bag of surprises. Do you want the same thing every time you have sex with someone? No, because the same thing is BORING! Having variety gives you a chance to try something new, whether it's a new partner or a new position.
5. You are 100% free from commitment.
At different points in life, we might not be completely ready to enter a committed relationship. I know that when I was in college, I was more interested in exploring all my options instead of feeling tied down to one person. Don't rush a relationship if it isn't what you WANT. Someone will end up hurt and you'll compromise your own happiness.
There is a lot of power in doing what YOU want. Just like some women make the choice to be intimate with different partners, other women make the choice to be monogamous.
6. You have an insane amount of fun.
Sex is FUN. Need I say more?
We should embrace sexuality, not suppress it! Whether you are saving yourself for marriage or engaging in frequent sexual behavior, in the end it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. As long as YOU are happy with your choices, are making those choices of your own free will without pressure, and are being safe, keep doing what you're doing!