It may sounds vindictive at first, but it's so much more than that!
By Nicole Weaver — Written on Mar 13, 2015
Would you rather your husband die, or would prefer to get a divorce? Usually when you play a game of "would you rather…" something as real as this question doesn't come up. But the thought tends to go through women's heads when they go through the process of divorce.
If you're in the middle of nasty family court proceedings, fighting with in-laws, and possibly handling kids that are acting out all because of your divorce, then chances are you have played this game yourself. It's even more likely that you picked that you would rather have your husband die than go through with the divorce, and guess what? That's okay!
In an interview with Fox News Radio, divorce coach and YourTango expert, Arianna Jeret explains the interesting phenomenon by giving 3 main reasons.
1. What you are really saying is that divorce is hard.
Saying you want your ex to be dead is sometimes a cry for help, and pointing out how terrible the process is.
"When I refer to that as a wish that women tend to have—and it's women who see me as coaching clients or when we're talking privately mediation, it's also friends of mine," explains Jeret. "What it really comes down to is that it would be easier. Divorce is just an excruciating process."
2. You want the marriage to end the way you expected.
It's not only the process that can be terribly stressful on women to the point where they would prefer death on their ex, but it's also what we expect in life anyways!
"The way I really look at it is that when you get married what's the vow we all talk about? It's that it's til' death do us part, and death is really what would be the natural end to a marriage," continues Jeret. "We don't think about that consciously, but that's really what we're saying. This will end when one of us dies and not before."
3. You want to still love that person.
It can be hurtful and scary to hear someone wish death on another person, but sometimes it isn't about hate. It's about love.
"When somebody passes away all you really think about is the love. It's easier to love because you can think about just the good memories and you don't have to be dealing with them and fighting day after day," says the divorce coach.
Of course you shouldn't try to tell your ex that you wish him dead, but know that you are in the process of mourning your divorce. Wishing your marriage ended the way you promised it would is perfect normal. You're not a monster for thinking this way. You're just very hurt.
Listen to the full interview to get more divorce advice from Arianna Jeret on Fox New Radio here.