Cry us a river.
If you’ve ever been mid-hookup with a guy, then stopped, for whatever reason, you’ve probably encountered the blue ball claim. If you haven’t, then thank your lucky stars. Blue balls is slang for the congestion of fluid in the testicles (epididymal hypertension), due to arousal that has not been, well, finished off, so to speak. Many, many immature men have tried to pass this off as a way to make the person with whom they were hooking up, feel guilty about the horrific pain they have to endure, because they did not ejaculate. Cry me a river, you guys.
Breaking news: Not only do blue balls not hurt all that much, but they’re not some serious medical condition, either.
The term blue balls came to be in 1916 when a doctor, noting that the testicles would appear blue when they became engorged with blood during sexual arousal, decided that seemed like an appropriate term for the situation. But while, yes, the balls may appear a bit blue in tint, that doesn’t mean that any man is in such the terrifying pain they claim, nor does it mean any woman should feel obligated to, as they say, "finish the job," because some guy is trying to guilt her into it. Men have hands so they’re more than capable, and if they don’t take care of it, the blue color and mild discomfort will pass within an hour.
Although men may think they’re alone in this, they are not.
Studies have found that women can suffer from vascongestion from sexual arousal that has not been fulfilled. While women may not appear blue in their nether region, they do, however, feel an ache in their lower stomach and pelvic area, which means women can run around claiming they have blue balls, too. Isn’t gender equality lovely?
So, ladies, the next time you’re with a man and he dares to cry out, "You gave me blue balls!" as you head for the door or just decide it’s time for a nap, let him know that you’re in on his little secret. Tell him that you’re aware of the fact that it’s not as painful as he claims, that it’s actually not life or death after all, and you run the risk of blue balls, too. All is fair in love and war, and the same goes for blue balls.