What was I THINKING?
By Dawn Marie — Written on Feb 19, 2015
What do you get when you take 1 mom, 6 kids, and a day off school with nothing else to do? You get Mom Makeovers! We've seen those pictures and videos of boyfriends doing their girlfriend's makeup and I thought: Why not let my kids give it a shot? Here are the beautifully horrifying results:
Brooklyn, age 9. My 9-year-old daughter gave me the first makeover. Every day, she sits in my bathroom, eating her breakfast while I get ready for work. Every. Single. Day. She's seen me put on makeup, probably, a thousand times so I figured she must have my routine memorized by now. Wrong. So, so wrong. Her first step was to apply mascara, followed by eye shadow on my cheeks and eyes, then eyeliner, lipstick, and finally (correctly): blush on my cheeks.
Clayton, age 11. Not too long ago, Clayton asked me why I wear makeup, period. He said it seemed like a hassle and he was glad he's a boy. (Some days I agree with him.) He began by putting 9 different shades of blush on my cheeks. Then I noticed his hands were black, not from makeup, but because he had just come inside from playing baseball and he's an 11-year-old boy who hasn't learned how to wash his hands yet. Next, he used eyebrow pencil to extend my eyebrows halfway down my face. He followed that with eyeshadow and eyeliner drawn about an inch beneath my eyes. At this point, he went Picasso on me and used my face as a canvas to express his inner clown. Gorgeous.
Austin, age 20. I should have know by his laughter that he had no intentions of trying to figure out what all the containers of color were for. Nope, he had other ideas. He started with eyeshadow on my eyes and ended with eyeliner on my nose. Let's just say that his um, "creation" would have been perfect for Halloween, but not so much for everyday use. Thanks, Austin.
Savannah, age 18. As you might imagine, she did a great job. I might have to bribe her to do my makeup every day. Being a girl with disposable income, she has much better/more expensive makeup than I do!
Jackson, age 16. He stopped the eye-rolling just long enough to give me a lovely unibrow with eyeliner, a smear of dark gray eye shadow, and red lipstick that looked like it was drawn on by an 80-year-old woman with a tremor.
Lexington, age 13. Like my 18-year-old daughter, she did a lovely job. Starting with foundation and powder and ending with mascara and lipstick, she highlighted my face instead of making me look like a circus freak.
What I learned: If your kids have a day off school, take them to the beach, rent some movies, or make them clean their rooms instead of having them do your makeup. And if you must have someone else do your makeup, go for the teenage girls,and bypass your sons altogether!
