10 Hannah Montana Reactions To Miley Cyrus' Naked Antics

Miley Cyrus naked except for pasties and pantyhose in 'Tongue Tied'
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Buzz, Sex

A Miley Cyrus film may or may not be heading to a porn festival. Of course.

A Miley Cyrus BDSM-themed short called "Tongue Tied" was rumored to be part of the New York City Porn Festival. Like everything else the thirsty former Disney star does, this got a ton of hype: The whole world would, ostensibly, see Miley Cyrus naked for the umpteenth time. How exciting! How thrilling! How novel! How new!

Except it's not gonna happen.

Though an extended four-minute version of "Tongue Tied," which featured Cyrus wearing little more than electrical tape and tiny undies (in some scenes, if that), was reportedly listed on the New York City Porn Festival schedule, the film — and the very nude Cyrus — are now said to not be appearing. The singer's rep told press, "Miley was proud to make a film with acclaimed filmmaker Quentin Jones. Neither she nor Quentin are participating in this 'festival' in any way."

How devastating. In the meantime while you mourn, check out how Hannah Montana feels about Miley Cyrus' endless pit of desperation.

Unlike her Disney alter ego, Hannah Montana, Miley Cyrus lacks discretion
Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - <a href="http://www.giphy.com/"/>Giphy</a>

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Giphy

Miley Cyrus chopped off her hair, and with it, some of her sense
Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/"/>Tumblr</a>

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Tumblr

This is usually how stuff like this starts
Miley Cyrus - <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/"/>Tumblr</a>

Miley Cyrus - Tumblr

To which her younger, wiser self would reply:
Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/"/>Tumblr</a>

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Tumblr

She then appropriated what she called "urban" culture To Miley Cyrus, "urban" means "twerking" and wearing grills, even though she's never successfully twerked in her damn life.
Miley Cyrus in 'We Can't Stop' - <a href="http://www.giphy.com/"/>Giphy</a>

Miley Cyrus in 'We Can't Stop' - Giphy

Then she twerked on Robin Thicke (who appropriates Marvin Gaye songs)
Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke at the VMAs - <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/"/>Tumblr</a>

Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke at the VMAs - Tumblr

It was one of the grossest things anyone has ever seen
Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - <a href="http://www.giphy.com/"/>Giphy</a>

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Giphy

But we couldn't stop watching for the same reason you slow down when you drive past a car crash. It's morbid, but you have to see everything.
Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/"/>Tumblr</a>

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Tumblr

Of course, Miley Cyrus made headlines afterward, which was exactly what she wanted, because she's too thirsty to understand the difference between positive and negative attention
Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/"/>Tumblr</a>

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Tumblr

Now addicted to said attention, the "Wrecking Ball" video showed Miley Cyrus naked and demonstrating to the world a slew of easy ways to get yeast infections
Miley Cyrus naked in her 'Wrecking Ball' video - <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/"/>Tumblr</a>

Miley Cyrus naked in her 'Wrecking Ball' video - Tumblr

Now, a BDSM-themed Miley Cyrus video, "Tongue Tied," is being featured in a porn festival
Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/"/>Tumblr</a>

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Tumblr

In "Tongue Tied," Miley Cyrus can be seen in various states of undress and flexibility
Miley Cyrus in 'Tongue Tied' - <a href="http://www.giphy.com/"/>Giphy</a>

Miley Cyrus in 'Tongue Tied' - Giphy

She wears little more than homemade pasties, electrical tape and fishnets in most scenes
Miley Cyrus in 'Tongue Tied' - <a href="http://www.giphy.com/"/>Giphy</a>

Miley Cyrus in 'Tongue Tied' - Giphy

Miley Cyrus tries really hard to be sexy
Miley Cyrus topless in 'Tongue Tied' - <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/"/>Tumblr</a>

Miley Cyrus topless in 'Tongue Tied' - Tumblr

But we're all just like
Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/"/>Tumblr</a>

Miley Cyrus as Hannah Montana - Tumblr

Let's be honest: Blackface really is the next step
Miley Cyrus topless in 'Tongue Tied' - <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/"/>Tumblr</a>

Miley Cyrus topless in 'Tongue Tied' - Tumblr

Because she's like, so edgy
Miley Cyrus naked in 'Tongue Tied' - <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/"/>Tumblr</a>

Miley Cyrus naked in 'Tongue Tied' - Tumblr

It's just sort of sad that she won't follow her own advice
Miley Cyrus - <a href="http://www.tumblr.com/"/>Tumblr</a>

Miley Cyrus - Tumblr

 

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