How to handle really difficult people.
We all have those days when we would rather not deal with people's attitudes. But if we're being totally honest with ourselves, we can also be pretty difficult to deal with. Before we complain about other people being too hard to handle, we can't ignore if we're actually the ones pushing everyone else's buttons. Because let's face it, when we're in the heat of an argument, trying to use effective communication to figure out what's really going on is probably the last thing on our minds.
When Dr. Rhoberta Shaler talks about the different ways to figure out why someone is being so hard to deal with, we couldn't agree more! It's all about putting everything into perspective: Before reacting, it's important to understand if the person is either having a bad day or is just hostile on a normal basis. And if we come to the realization that we're the difficult ones, we have to remember that we have the power to change our behavior. Taking the time out to answer the following questions can lead us closer to understanding what's really going on:
1. What does it actually mean to be high conflict?
2. Is there something that we're doing that's making everyone else feel on edge?
3. If it really is us, what can we do to change?
4. Can we honestly say that we're happy with how we're acting? And if our attitude isn't at the root of the problem, should we have to deal with someone who is high conflict?
Even though it may seem far fetched, sometimes putting ourselves in everyone else's shoes can make all of the difference. Also, these twelve signs from High Conflict Management that prove whether or not someone is a high conflict person will definitely help point us in the right direction.