More Pizza For You: Why He'll Always Choose Sexy Time Over Food

couple pizza and sex

Science says men will always go for sex. Surprised?

When given the option of food I love or sex, there's a good chance I'll choose food. If that food happens to be pizza, I'm actually quite certain that if pressured to choose between that or sex, not both, for the rest of my life, I'd definitely go with the pizza. For some, this thinking might be absolutely preposterous, but for me, it's completely natural. Why wouldn't someone choose pizza … or dark chocolate or a perfectly pungent French cheese, over sex?

Men, however, will always go for the sex. Surprised?

A new study has found that men's brains are actually programmed to completely ignore anything having to do with food if there's a chance they’ll be getting some, "some" meaning sex, of course. I guess that kicks the whole theory that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach to the curb. The way to a man's heart is clearly through his penis. The study also found that men are also able to suppress any desire for food or hunger pangs, if they're dead set on finding themselves a mate. For men, sex really is their number one concern after all.

Researchers at the University of Rochester Medical Center looked at the behavior of roundworms, of all things, to prove their theory. The study included "normal" male worms and worms that had been "genetically engineered" to be hungrier and way more into food than probably any worm should be. Then the worms were put into a petri dish and given two options: food or sex.

The "normal" males couldn't have cared less about food and wandered off to find themselves a mate. Whereas the hungry worms not only refused to stray too far from their food source, but also weren’t exactly skilled at procuring a lady friend (or rather a hermaphrodite friend, because "ladies," as we think of them, don't exist in the roundworm world.) The "ladies," on the other hand, just hung out by the food, doing their thing, waiting for some attention, perhaps, snacking here and there.

What the scientists deduced from their experiment is that men aren't just able to suppress hunger so as to focus on getting a mate, but that behavior can be changed by just "tuning the properties of a single cell." In other words, we can genetically engineer men to be hungry-hungry hippos, who suck at picking up women and would rather be at the food table at social events, as opposed to conversing with ladies. Although I can’t imagine any scientist is looking to create a George Costanza doppelganger, the research team does seem very pleased with their results.

Personally, I find great solace in this. When it comes down to the last slice of pizza with my partner and I, I immediately go into panic mode. If I eat this one fast enough, perhaps even risking choking on it, will I get to the last slice first? Will he let me have it because he loves me? But now I no longer have to worry. Thanks to this study I now know that by offering up sex as an alternative to the last slice of pizza, my fears will be put to bed (pun!) and my husband will get what he and his brain really want. We all win. Yeah science!


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