Sorry Ladies, You Can't Change Him (So Stop Trying)


People change because they choose to change. Not because you tell them to.

Okay, we're just going to come out and say it. When it comes to dating, there is no magic marker that is going to automatically erase every little thing about your partner that you want to get rid of. That includes all of those quirks that you thought were totally endearing in the beginning (but now just find them to be pretty annoying). Honestly, you can't change him so stop trying.

We couldn't agree more with author Charles Orlando, who stresses the fact that people only change because they choose to change — Not because someone else tells them to. Let's be honest. If the situation was reversed, we probably wouldn't react too well to being told that there are things that our partner wishes we could change. This isn't to say that you're not doing this out of love, but you have to realize that nobody changes for someone else. But you CAN create an environment that inspires him to change on his own terms; it's all about motivating him to be his best self. Trust us when we say that talking to him about why something he does or doesn't do bothers you is the right step to take. And if he isn't addressing your needs (and doesn't plan to), you may have to reevaluate your relationship.


Explore YourTango