Infertility and heartache can go hand in hand, but it doesn't have to!
There's nothing worse than wanting to have a child, then realizing, after years of trying, that motherhood just isn't in the cards for you. It's one thing to be childless by choice, or as those women prefer to call themselves, "childfree," but it’s another thing to be childless because of physical issues that are out of one's control. While there's always the option of adoption, for some, having a baby of their own is the only thing they want, and when that dream is taken away, it's hard to recover.
Considered the "unfulfilled wish," a new study found that after trying with as many fertility treatments as possible, women who still can't conceive are three times more likely to end up suffering from depression. Even after a decade of realizing that their hope to be a mother will never happen, women still continue to suffer from the disappointment and sadness of not having kids. While some women are able to accept the harsh reality and release their desire to have kids are far less likely to suffer from depression, I think we can all agree that this is no easy task at all.
Scientist studied 7000 women who had taken fertility treatment to see how that extreme level of disappointment or, in some cases, success had affected their lives 11 to 17 years after the treatments. Even after years had passed and the fact for some was that children were impossible for them, 6% still desperately wanted to have kids. So, what does that mean for those women? As Dr. Sophia Gameiro and her team discovered, "We found that women who still wished to have children were up to 2.8 times more likely to develop clinically significant mental health problems than women who did not sustain a child-wish. For women with children, those who sustained a child-wish were 1.5 times more likely to have worse mental health than those without a child-wish." These are heartbreaking statistics. Even those who already have children, but would like more, still suffer from the depression of not being able to conceive. I guess the heart wants what the heart wants.
However, having a child doesn't mean you'll be happier. As Gameiro also pointed out, children can be difficult, not just emotionally and mentally, but there’s the stress of it, financial concerns, and just the overall responsibility of providing for someone beside yourself. It isn’t easy to be a parent.
While a childless woman may never truly be able to recover from such an emotional blow to her dreams, there are ways to deal. Having goals, outside of being a mother, and working on yourself and your career are two such goals to keep in mind. Also, loving the children around you, the ones you’re lucky enough to know, may also ease the pain. You may not get to be a mother, but that doesn't mean you can’t be an awesome aunt to the kids in your life. You also get to walk away when that kid throws a fit, which isn't exactly a bad thing.