Next to you, Anastasia Steele's obsession with Christian Grey looks like child's play.
There may be three sexy books in the series, a much-anticipated movie in the works, and actors, actresses and reality stars who jumped at the chance to play the risqué literary couple — but you were there way before this Fifty Shades Of Grey pandemonium broke lose, back when Miss Anastasia Steele was still a shy virgin, rope sales were down and people weren’t getting divorced over the franchise. (Yes, that happened)
You've named your "inner goddess" so your Fifty Shades passion runs deep. Like grey steel colored deep and that is totally ok. We get it. Next to you, Anastasia Steele's passion for Christian Grey looks like child's play.
After all, every little girl dreams about meeting her [whip wheeling, dominating, seductive] prince charming and little boy about wooing the [non-disclosure contract signing] woman of his dreams and running off into the red room of pain together. Right?
Starting to rock pigtails more now than when you were 7 years old? Vowed to never, ever skip breakfast again? Suddenly hate your boyfriend's mom's friends?
Here's a list of telltale signs that your Fifty Shades obsession totally takes it to the next level —and you should probably be gagged and chained … happily.
1. Hollywood was super slow. You casted 50 Shades years ago. And none of the original cast dropped out!
2. Because the release date is just too damn far away for you.
3. You sign emails "Laters, Baby"
4. When did you start buying so many grey clothes and nail polishes?
5. And biting your lip so much?
6. Your mom and aunts have all read the book and are doing these things, too.
7. You fantasize about cruising around in a (free) Audi.
8. Silver balls. You get the reference.
9. Your room is painted red.
10. You've asked your partner if he owns a silver tie, just cause.
11. You wear pigtails more often now than when you were 7.
12. You eat breakfast every morning. Every morning.
13. And you hate vanilla.
14. You also immensely dislike all of your boyfriend's mother’s friends.
15. Becoming a writer was an obvious must-do career change. After all, anyone can do it, why not you?!
16. Speaking of, you're in the midst of writing a Fifty Shades of Grey fan fiction masterpiece.
17. You know what the E.L. in E.L. James stands for.