Call me old fashioned, but I've always been of the mindset that, yes, money can buy love. You know, because it can. Do you really think rich 75-year-old men would be able to land the beautiful young women that they do, if they didn't have all that extra cash to share? I may want to be financially independent, but I'm not above having my partner share his wealth with me, so yeah, I'd sign up for the old dude. Maybe. Possibly. OK, only if he looked like Patrick Stewart. Everyone loves Patrick Stewart.
Since money and love go hand-in-hand for many people, EliteSingles surveyed 500 singles to see just how significant money is in their relationships. What they found is that, overall, when it comes to bucks, women are more concerned about it than men. This isn't to suggest that we’re all a bunch of gold-diggers, of course, it just means that maybe we like to live within a certain standard. You can't blame a woman for preferring crème brulee to pudding!
The good news to come out of this study was that the majority of men and women wouldn't date someone just because they had money. Phew! A paltry 4 percent of men and 8 percent of women, however, are content to dig for someone else's gold, but these are probably the same type of people who hate bunnies and pizza. So, basically, they're no good in more ways than one. I might be reaching here, but let's just go with it.
When it came to feelings about who makes more in the relationship, a lot of women seem to think we're living in 1950. As the survey found, "Women also seem uncertain about marrying a man earning less than them — just 25 percent said they'd do so, while 29 percent would if their man had possessions to balance things up." What the wha--?! I guess it's a good thing that 92 percent of men would marry someone who made less than them, because, you know, the pay gap is still out there plaguing us, so it would be weird if men had a hard time with that.
The part of the survey involving lending money to partners also revealed some big differences between the genders. While 81 percent of men would "unconditionally" lend money to their partner, only 44 percent of women would do so. Also, the number one money pet peeve is when a partner borrows money, but doesn't pay it back. According to the participants of the study, that’s even worse than telling your partner how to spend their money or lying about the price of things. Although there’s some common ground in terms of pet peeves, it doesn't change the fact that men and women think VERY differently when it comes to money.
EliteSingles' psychologist, Dr. Wiebke Neberich, blames women's "evolutionary character and their desire for independence," on some of these old-school thoughts, like only dating men who make more money than us. As he explains, "Women today have long fought for social and financial independence from men, and rightly treasure this achievement. The female desire for security and a resource-rich partner may, at first glance, appear to be a contradiction. But this can be explained by women's natural role as the more dependent person during the phase of starting a family — even in today’s more equal society. Considered from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense that women look for a well-off partner."
I thought I was looking for a well-off partner because I want that vintage Chanel handbag that I can't afford to buy for myself, but maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it is all about evolution, I mean, isn't it usually?
One thing's for sure, is that this study proves that men and women have yet to get on the same page when it comes to money. It's not an easy subject to tackle, but one worth having to save our relationships from demise further down the road. In opening the lines of communication about how much we make, how much we're willing to contribute to the household, and how much can be set aside for retirement, we can avoid drama. The number one thing that couples fight over is money; so nipping that in the bud now is the way to go.