When I look back at photos from my wedding, there are more than a few where you catch me with my phone in my hand. I wasn't texting or making calls, but I was taking photos and checking my email in case anyone had gotten lost. As a little girl, I never dreamed I'd be traipsing around my perfect Parisian wedding with my phone, that, even in one photo, is actually tucked in the front of my dress. I guess I should have gotten a gown with pockets.
But when I look at my far more techie friends, I'm relieved I hadn't gone THAT far. For some, technology overload on the big day just seems natural. With the never-ending advancements in the world of tech, it makes sense that eventually it would become, for some, just as important to wear Google Glass, as it is to wear the wedding gown. But if you let the whole technology thing get ahead of you, then before you know it, it might even just take over your wedding, and do you really want that? Probably not.
Here are the signs your tech obsession has gotten out of control, and it's time to take things down a notch.
1. You Hire A Drone To Do The Photography
Yes, this is a real thing, and no, not all drones mean there's a war taking place. Wedding photographer Dale Steirman is the man to hire if you're looking for photos that will blow your mind using drones, but no pun intended. Drones can swoop down, up, over and get the type of photos that a dude with a camera on the ground just can’t. Because the word “drone” is somewhat synonymous with wars for many, Steirman prefers to call the photography technique “quad-copter.” It definitely has a better ring to it.
2. You Pay Someone To Live Tweet The Entire Event
OK, I get it. You want the world to know you're not only getting hitched, but you want everyone to know the play-by-play of it all. However, the problem is that you're a little busy, so who’s going to step in take over the social media end of things? A pro, of course. Apparently, until the end of 2014, something called a "social media wedding concierge" will be available for all weddings at The W Hotel in New York City to take care of that time-consuming, pesky Tweeting business so you don’t have to… all for the bargain basement price of $3000. Groan. But what’s another $3k on top of the $50k you already dropped?
3. You Walk Down The Aisle Wearing Google Glass
What the wha?! I just can't, but I guess some can. Last year a woman named Marsha Collier was the first bride to wear Google Glass to her own wedding. Why? I don't know. Oh, wait; yes, I do: Collier signed up with Google last fall to test the product as a "Glass Explorer." I had no idea that once you put on Google Glass you couldn’t remove it, even for your wedding … or you can, and she wanted to keep that ugly thing on? Double groan.
4. You Make Instagramming Mandatory
Admittedly, I had a hashtag for my wedding. Granted, I didn’t want people to be on their phones the entire time, but I knew they probably would be anyway, so why not give them a little project? Since then I've been to a couple weddings where Instagramming was mandatory. If you didn't have an Instagram account, then you better make damn sure you sign up for one before you even dare show up to the wedding. Triple groan.
5. All Of Your Photos Contain A Photoshopped Dinosaur
Dinosaurs are cool! I love dinosaurs, but some people are just getting a little carried away when it comes to Photoshopping dinosaurs and other large creatures into their wedding photos. Once something just used to make that wedding day zit disappear or trim up your waist from that "love weight" you couldn’t lose before the big day, now Photoshopping is all about adding big, scary fangs to the mix. If you've missed it, even Jeff Goldblum, Mr. Jurassic Park himself, has gotten in on the technological trend.
6. You Livestream The Ceremony
A friend of mine was recently NOT invited to a physical wedding, but WAS invited to view the wedding via her computer, because the bride and groom were kind enough to livestream it for those NOT invited. (They also dared to send a link to their registry to these livestream-only "guests," but I digress.) Livestreaming is a great idea for your grandma who’s hospital-bound and just has to see you all dolled up in your princess dress, but other than that, you’re just pushing it when you prop up an iPad in the bushes to capture it all. If you're not inviting people, but tell them to watch the livestream instead and buy you a gift, then you’re just a whole boatload of tacky. Don't be tacky.
7. You Create An App For Your Wedding
Because of course you do! Yapp is the app (rhymes!) for such technological wedding bliss. With Yapp, you can keep your guests abreast of all happenings regarding your wedding — once they download the app, so, good luck trying to explain this one to your grandmother. But the techie-obsessed probably live for such challenges as explaining apps for Grammy and Grampy. Go you.