The 17 Awkward Stages Of One-Night Stands

awkward

Contributor
Sex

Let's get weird!

One-night stands are a lot of fun, but let's be real; they are tricky as all hell. From beginning to end, the decision to have sex with a stranger is a situation fraught with odd pitfalls. Thankfully, hormones cover a lot of those pitfalls nicely. But just for giggles, let's really examine those awkward stages, one by one.

 

Scoping out your target at the bar (without looking like a huge creeper).
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Fighting your friends for dibs on said target, and causing a huge scene.
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Making your approach.
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Trying to seduce them with you amazing dance skills.
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Coming to the mutual decision to go get it on with a stranger.
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The fumbling in the cab.
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Yet more fumbling as you get up the your apartment.
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Trying to cover your nerves with dirty talk.
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That horrifying moment when you aren't sure if you have any condoms, and thinking you might have to call it off.
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Trying not to do a full on victory dance when you find one in the bedside table.
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Getting naked. Period.
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Scrambling to figure out which way is up when they want to try something freaky.
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Having to pretend to enjoy this nonsense right here:
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Fighting off a post-coital cuddle.
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Trying to get rid of them in the morning, when they feel like lingering.
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Overthinking the whole damn thing.
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And then tossing all the awkwardness aside and congratulating yourself for being totally badass and independent.
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