The 17 Awkward Stages Of One-Night Stands

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awkward
Let's get weird!

One-night stands are a lot of fun, but let's be real; they are tricky as all hell. From beginning to end, the decision to have sex with a stranger is a situation fraught with odd pitfalls. Thankfully, hormones cover a lot of those pitfalls nicely. But just for giggles, let's really examine those awkward stages, one by one.

 

1. Scoping out your target at the bar (without looking like a huge creeper).

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2. Fighting your friends for dibs on said target, and causing a huge scene.

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3. Making your approach.

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4. Trying to seduce them with you amazing dance skills.

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5. Coming to the mutual decision to go get it on with a stranger.

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6. The fumbling in the cab.

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7. Yet more fumbling as you get up the your apartment.

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8. Trying to cover your nerves with dirty talk.

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9. That horrifying moment when you aren't sure if you have any condoms, and thinking you might have to call it off.

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10. Trying not to do a full on victory dance when you find one in the bedside table.

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11. Getting naked. Period.

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12. Scrambling to figure out which way is up when they want to try something freaky.

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13. Having to pretend to enjoy this nonsense right here:

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14. Fighting off a post-coital cuddle.

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15. Trying to get rid of them in the morning, when they feel like lingering.

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16. Overthinking the whole damn thing.

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17. And then tossing all the awkwardness aside and congratulating yourself for being totally badass and independent.

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