How to Divorce With Dignity

Contributor
Heartbreak, Family

Maintain your dignity throughout the divorce process with these simple tips.

Learning how to divorce with dignity is an important step toward future happiness. Pride, self-respect, grace and peace do not have to be sacrificed simply because a marriage is ending. No matter how devastating the circumstances that led to a relationship’s demise, everyone can learn how to divorce with dignity and the following tips may help:

Acceptance

The first step in learning how to divorce with dignity is to accept that the relationship is truly over. Many believe they have taken this step yet are still holding onto anger, bitterness and resentment. Others fail at this step completely while engaging in humiliating antics in an attempt to regain a spouse’s attention. Truly accepting a marriage’s end means that thoughts of how things should have been or how they could have been are released and replaced, instead, with a coming to terms with the reality of what actually is happening now. Without wishing that things were different and without hoping that a soon-to-be former spouse will miraculously change, master the process of learning how to divorce with dignity by truly accepting that the marriage is over. 

Self-Control

Few know how to divorce without the outward expressions of anger or hurt being directed toward a former spouse. After accepting that the marriage has truly ended, however, there is really no need for this sort of behavior. It’s likely that these negative sentiments are a part of what ultimately led to the marriage’s end, so there really is no need to rehash old arguments or name-calling while at the finish line. Instead, divorce with dignity by remembering that a former spouse is someone who was once deeply cherished and someone through whom valuable lessons have been learned. If kind words cannot be spoken at this time, at the very least, unkind words should be carefully avoided. Those who choose to divorce with dignity by avoiding verbal altercations find that the stressful process of ending a marriage is slightly less so when a conscious effort is made not to add fuel to a smoldering fire.

Don’t Move On Just Yet

It’s not uncommon for recently separated people to jump into a new relationship while divorcing. Doing so, however, often causes contention between divorcing spouses and is sometimes seen as unfair to the third party with whom the new relationship is shared. Jumping into a new relationship before completely disengaging or coming to terms with a previous marriage is almost always a recipe for disaster, if for no other reason that lessons haven’t been analyzed and feelings are still raw. In short, things can get complicated and very messy when moving on to someone new too soon. So wait until closure has settled before posting a profile on a dating site like www.MillionaireMatch.com or going out in search of someone new.

Be Willing to Take the High Road...Alone

Bear in mind that a former spouse may not know how to divorce with dignity, nor is this person necessarily interested in doing so. This should not deter anyone with a goal of divorcing with peace from doing so, but it will often require taking the high road. While accepting that the relationship is over and refusing to engage in heated arguments, be prepared to be the only one acting quite so maturely. When dividing assets, be firm in requests, but allow attorneys to negotiate when requests are denied instead of engaging in personal back and forth dialogue. Also, choose battles very carefully and be prepared to release any material possessions that are not absolutely necessary for survival. Whether you’re a verified millionaire member at www.MillionaireMatch.com or can barely afford to rub two nickels together, trust and believe that your peace of mind is worth a lot more than those possessions.

Be Prepared to Grow

Learning how to divorce with dignity and grace is a challenging effort. In order to achieve this goal, a certain level of self-control and discipline must be acquired first. Engaging in this process, however, will strengthen character and make moving on a far more simplified process. Many who have managed to accomplish this have also found that it is easier to savor lessons and cherish fond memories from the marriage despite its end result. By being deliberate in how they let go, people who’ve targeted a peaceful divorce report that time spent together feels less like a total loss and more like a love that has simply run its course.

Author
Contributor

Expert advice

If you can recognize this pattern, you can handle your favorite narcissist more effectively.
Are you still single and you don't why?
You constantly feel like you're walking on eggshells.