The Ultimate Parent Glossary Of Euphemisms: Code Words For Nookie


Sometimes you need to get your point across without distracting the kids from their playtime.

Parents: ever need to let your partner know you’re "in the mood?" You know better than anyone this can be close to impossible when you have kids. You're surrounded and need the perfect opening to try and let your partner know that the next chance you get, you're in need of some "adult time."

Not to worry! YourTango and Trojan™ Lubricants have surveyed over a thousand parents in our "Sex After Kids" survey to find the best code words you can use the next time you need to toss your partner a few hints to get a nudge towards the bedroom. Trust us… you'll thank us!

"It’s time" – Useful for parents who have gone longer than a week without valuable bedroom time. When paired with a wink, there's no chance your partner won’t catch your signal and head for the stairs. 

"Grown up time" – Perfect for parents who have kids small enough to repeat everything they hear. Becomes less effective as your kids get older and wiser.

"Cookies" – Short, sweet (literally) and to the point, used by parents who want to keep it especially kid friendly.

"Nip nip wiggy wiggy" – Take a note from your kid's favorite song: nonsense terms can be best when dealing with delicate subjects as a parent!

"Dancing" – Sometimes you need a code word to dismiss any (ahem) noises. This is the one you want to use in that case!

"Bang out a contract" – A great code word for professional parents whose kids know that work time is serious (and no fun). Especially effective if you have a home office and need a change of scenery.

"Cars and garages" – Cars are definitely grown up business and your kids won’t bat an eye if you subtly hint that the car needs to go in the garage tonight.

"If the door is locked, mommy and daddy are talking." – For parents who just can’t keep their kids from sneaking into their room. Bonus if you make what you’re talking about sound as boring as possible.

"Staff meeting" – Professional parents can be all business, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun with innuendos when you're outside of the office.

"Basement time" – This code word is very effective if you already designate the basement as off limits to the kids.

"Tennis" – Ask your partner if they want to play a long or short game of tennis. It gets right to the point, and goes right over your kids' heads.

"Mattress tag" – Easily dismisses away any questions about why mommy and daddy need to go to the bedroom. Parents need play time too!

"Make the bed" – If your kid hates doing chores, just tell them you are going to make the bed and need your partner's help to lift the heavy mattress.

"Mommy needs to get a shot from the doctor" – For parents whose kids hate shots, the doctor and needles, this is the perfect excuse.  Of course you'll need your partner to hold your hand through the pain.

"Making balloon animals" -- Can also be substituted with "making pizza" if you’re trying to get some alone time before dinner.

"Taco time" -- This one is for especially cheeky parents that like innuendos far above their kids comprehension level.

Presented by makers of Trojan Lubricants


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