Chris Martin, Get Away From Gwyneth Paltrow!

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Chris Martin is reportedly reuniting with Gwyneth Paltrow. Here's why that's a horrible idea.

Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow had the most infamous and pretentious public separation ever: Her "conscious uncoupling," which she announced via her obnoxiously WASP-y GOOP blog, became an international sensation just based on how ridiculous the whole thing was. And now they're trying to consciously couple again.

A source told Radar Online, "Chris still lives with her, they are amazingly lovey-dovey together and she still wears her wedding ring. They may have consciously uncoupled a few months ago – but they seem to be recoupling now. No one will be surprised if they get back together." The insider added, "It's true they had problems but in the weirdest way this 'conscious uncoupling' situation has relieved the pressure on them."

 

Here's the problem with recoupling: Paltrow never really wanted to split -- at least not publicly -- and that's a problem, especially considering Martin may have had a wandering eye throughout their marriage. For all her egocentricity, Paltrow clearly has self-esteem issues if feigning a picket fence for the public is more important to her than her own self-respect.

Additionally, The "my life is so hard being a millionaire with well-connected parents and servants and a rockstar husband and a mansion, damn all you working mothers with your convenient 9-to-5" attitude is bound to get old, and sources previously revealed that Paltrow wanted to keep up appearances with the Coldplay singer. She wanted to break up, but she didn't want the world to know they were breaking up, because it would shatter her manufactured, out-of-touch image of domestic bliss.

As a result, reuniting with the insufferable Paltrow may just be a public relations ploy on her part more than true romantic feelings, real effort to work things out and an actual happy future together. And based on her obsession with image, snobbery and perfection, it doesn't sound like anyone could really have a happy future with Paltrow.

Here's hoping Chris Martin finally gets to go to McDonald's if he wants. And that he writes another "The Scientist."

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