As someone who has long considered herself a music snob (thanks to those years as a college DJ), someone's taste in music has always been paramount for me. If I started dating someone whose taste in music didn’t line up with mine, I knew it wouldn’t last. I thought perhaps I was alone in my ridiculous thinking until one night I was talking to a guy friend who told me about how he broke up with a girl in college because she had too much Tori Amos for "my liking," as he explained. I applauded his honesty. When I recap in my brain all the bands for which I have a feverish disdain, I still stand by the fact that music taste is just as much of a dealbreaker as halitosis or for which political party you vote. You can keep your Michele Bachmann to yourself, thank you very much.
But the good news, for me anyway, and for that guy friend of mine, is that our snobbery, or rather, our preference to be with those who have similar taste in music as us is more common than not. A study of how music affects relationships and dating, found that 70 percent of people would not date someone who has "vastly different music tastes to their own." Hear! Hear!
If you're the type of person who enjoys kicking back with some country twang, do you think you could really be in a long-term relationship with someone who’s still mourning the loss of the golden years of Public Enemy and plays them obsessively to fill that void? Besides, as the same study notes, those who have "grown up under the influence of bands such as the Rolling Stones, The Who, Led Zeppelin and Fleetwood Mac… it's very possible that these songs have had an influence on their lifestyle." Doing drugs and banging women left and right doesn't exactly coincide with someone who thinks Enya is all the rage.
The music question is also one that comes up very often on dates. You’re mid-meal, you've talked about where you're from, your college major, and the like, so what's next? "So, what kind of music do you like?"
There are even sites out there, like TasteBuds, who truly know the value and importance of finding a mate who shares your taste in music and matches you with someone who just gets it. You know, that person who just truly understands that Nickelback is one of the greatest bands of our time. I don't know who those people are, but isn't it nice to know you're not alone in this cold, harsh, judgmental world?
While music taste may seem like just one other obstacle, or even excuse, to keep us from finding the one, in reality it's no more absurd than so many of the other dealbreakers out there. So, the next time you decide halfway through a date that he's not the one for you because, despite being a 29-year-old finance guy, he thinks Justin Bieber is a musical genius, don't feel bad. You're among the 70 percent of other sane people who feel the same way.
How much does music matter to you when it comes to finding a partner? Tell us in the comments below.