Sexual repression is most prevalent in these 5 locations... and may be affecting your sex life.
In America, we are a fast-paced, ever-evolving, innovative nation. We’re always looking at how we can be bigger, better, and more successful. Technology is a prime example – just in the last 10 years, technology has changed rapidly. Before that, technology was slugging along with a few changes every few years.
But what is the one thing we’re not addressing?
Over the past few decades… wait, I mean centuries, our viewpoints about sex have not changed. The puritanical seed was planted around the 1700’s and has remained for hundreds of years. No-one is questioning our current dwindling of sexuality and how that may be linked to our escalating sexual health dilemmas, as well as the astronomical sexual dissatisfaction.
Instead, old-fashioned laws and beliefs about women and sex are parodied by comedians, reality tv shows, and radio stations, but the underlying stigma around sex still permeates our every encounter – from the classroom to the doctor’s office to the voting booth to the bedroom.
So where did sex go wrong?
- In the classroom:
Evidence proves again and again that abstinence-only sex education does not lower teen birth rates or pre-marital sex; in fact those students are 50% more likely to get pregnant (Journal of Adolescent Health). In fact, Mississippi has the highest teen birth rate in the country and more than half of its school districts prohibit discussion of contraceptive methods. Furthermore, 80% of federally funded abstinence-only programs misrepresent information. One California school district told students that STD’s could be prevented by “plenty of rest.” Reference my recent blog post here about the difference between America’s sex education and more sexually open minded countries such as France, and the significant decrease in teen birth rates.
Plus, did you know that Congress has spent over $1.5 billion on abstinence-only programs in the past 25 years?
- In church:
There is only one religion that is pro-masturbation and views sex outside of marriage as NOT a sin. And this religion is the oldest religion in the world and to this day, still includes rituals with sexual inferences. Temple still exist with erotic sculptures. Welcome to Hinduism. Could you imagine Christian or Catholic churches being adorned with sculptures and art of naked bodies engaging in kinky sexual activities? The dogma that the blessed Virgin Mary was immaculately conceived and Jesus was virginally conceived goes against what we are taught about conception and pro-creation – and we are meant to believe that why? And the wrongness that is insinuated that you are less than Virgin Mary because you engage in sexual intercourse is designed to keep you vibrating from a place of “not being good enough”, therefore you adopt behaviors that mimic “walking on eggshells” so that you don’t fall prey to sin.
Besides, no-one is obeying anyway – so give up being so hard on yourself. According to the Guttmacher institute, 95% of Americans have sex before marriage. AND, 90% of Americans born in the 1940’s claim they had sex before marriage as well.
- In the voting booth:
Approximately 70% of voters support marriage equality, yet only 53% can fathom same-sex marriage. Although there is more and more requests from Americans to support same-sex couples, the American legislation has yet to implement a federal law to sustain that support. The Netherlands was the first country in the world to legalize gay marriage. Abortion rates, teen birth rates, AIDS occurrences, and the infection rates of STD’s are significantly lower than in the U.S.
- In the doctor’s office:
According to the World Health Organization, “The purposes of sexual health care should be the enhancement of life and personal relationships, and not merely counselling and care related to procreation or sexually transmitted infections.” The U.S. only recently mandated coverage of some, not all, STD screenings and birth control (again, only some) – so where is our health care system dedicated to enhancing our life? We claim to have the best healthcare in the world (ranking at #37), yet we are the sickest in the world and coincidentally, have the highest rates of STD’s in the industrialized world. Imagine that!
- In the bedroom:
According to a Durex survey, only 48% of Americans are sexually satisfied. I disagree with that number because over 70% of women are unable to reach orgasm by vaginal intercourse alone, and most women are completely unaware of their full orgasmic potential. Only 6% of women are able to squirt or ejaculate. And the majority of society is doing sex from a conventional way instead of exploring their adventurous side. 54% of couples don’t discuss their sexuality with their lover – so if you’re not discussing it with the person you’re having sex with, who are you discussing it with?
Did you know that 90% of lovers in Spain are sexually satisfied?
Soooo… what is the only thing changing about sex?
Our sexual dysfunction rates – and they’re rising faster than ever. Could it be because of our ever-increasing sexual repression?
If the common theme of shame is associated with sex in the classroom, church, voting booth, and doctor’s office, then it is destined to show up in the bedroom.
How are we to have sexually satisfying, fulfilling, and enriching relationships when the one activity that can bring two people closer together than ever before is dishonored?
Sadly, when it comes to our sexuality and sexual health, the theme seems to be “the less sex the better.” Or no sex at all!
Yet our personal lives are screaming for something different… a change!
Til next time... :)
Dr. Shelly ॐ