Not every abusive relationship starts out in the rocky fashion that they typically end in. The relationship might start in a completely conventional manner, but as time wears on, abuse might gradually work its way in. If you get the inkling that you or someone you know is in the throes of an abusive relationship, this guide will help you locate the signs and take the proper steps for getting out of it.
One of the first, most common signs of an abusive relationship is continuous jealousy. Your significant other might often claim that they observe you flirting with other people, or they might get irate when another person simply talks with you or texts you.
You might be in an abusive relationship if you come home to a load of questions after spending some time away from your partner. Another warning sign is the onslaught of text messages or phone calls that you might receive while you're away inquiring about your whereabouts, who you're with, what time you got there, etc. They might also insist on checking your messages to make sure that you aren't talking to any other men. This is their way of starting to control your behaviors.
Watch out for verbal abuse. Name-calling, shaming, and constant bickering/fighting is a major sign of an abusive relationship. Look for signs that your significant other is constantly putting you down or looking to start an argument.
If you notice that your significant other continually throws objects, raises their voice, or gets excessively angry over minor occurrences, do not assume that that's "just how they are." Violent behavior can be indicative of a bigger problems down the line if it goes ignored.
Fear of Your Partner
Lastly, you're likely in an abusive relationship if you fear your partner. For example, you might fear them coming home from work and getting irate over the house being messy, or you might feel as though you're walking on eggshells any time you're around them.
What to Do
If you find that these signs are present in your relationship, the first step in getting out of this situation is realizing that their behavior is not your fault. Additionally, it's good to recognize that the situation will not change. You cannot "wait out" your partner's anger or jealousy; it will always be there. If your partner has laid their hands on you or you fear leaving them, you may want to contact an attorney to talk about a restraining order or other measures of staying safe.
Inform your significant other that you're leaving by sitting them down and talking with them. Make sure to actually pack up and leave when they're not around to minimize the chance that they will attempt to change your mind. If they have already been violent or if you are afraid to leave, leave while they are away and contact a women's shelter for help. If he/she threatens you or gets violent, contact authorities right away and leave the rest for them to handle.