Ladies, don’t you just wish your man could read your mind when you are in the bedroom? Unfortunately this might never happen but you can help to improve your sex life by spicing up things by telling your man exactly what you want in bed. This sounds like a very good idea but many women find it is much easier to complain to their man about his driving habits or other things that drive them crazy, than it is to tell him what they like in bed. So how do you tell your man that he is not performing at his peak and get him to do things that will make sex a lot more satisfying without bruising his ego?
1. Use the right words the right way
Sometimes it is not about what you say but it is how you say it. When you tell your man “Stop doing this and do that,” it sounds more as if you are complaining and dissatisfied with how he does his thing in the bedroom. Moreover, those words are a mood killer. However, when you say, “I love it when you do this to me,” he will feel a little less criticized and will be more open to suggestions.
2. Refrain from pointing out his flaws
Pointing out his flaws will only fuel his insecurities. Every man wants to believe that they can please their woman in the bedroom. You can boost his ego and improve your sex life by giving him compliments and encouraging him with verbal cues. When he does something you like tell him something like, “slow down. I want to enjoy you.” You can also show him that you are enjoying yourself by gripping the sheets, moaning or begging for more. Just ensure that you are not faking it because if your man realizes that you are, his fire will die down very quickly.
3. Gently introduce new things such as sex toys
It might be a little difficult to do without making your man feel like you are replacing him with sex toys. The good news is that it can be done. One way that you can introduce them is by telling him that you read somewhere that sex toys can spice things up in the bedroom and you should try them. This way, he will feel that you want to use sex toys not because he is poor in bed but because you are simply curious.
4. Do not freak out
Many women are afraid of telling their man what they want in bed because they fear that he might think that they have done those things with someone else. Just because you want to try new things doesn’t mean that you have experimented them with someone else. If your man thinks otherwise, then it means you have other things in your relationship that you need to deal with other than your sex life.
In a nutshell, giving your man sex tips is like playing a sport. He is the athlete who needs to reach his peak performance while you are the coach that tries to boost his self-esteem while still encouraging him to improve on his flaws.