Award-winning screenwriter and producer Cindy Chupack spent years concocting snappy, outrageous, groundbreaking storylines about love and dating for Carrie Bradshaw and the gang on the hit HBO series Sex and the City. In her latest book, The Longest Date: Life as a Wife, Chupack writes of her own real-life romance with husband Ian Wallach. She helps readers navigate their own marriages, and teaches them what it means to have a solid relationship. Here, she gives readers a taste of what she's learned from wedded bliss.
Now that I've written the book on marriage (well, a book on marriage), I am qualified to tell you ... very little, actually, because I have literally made every mistake in the book. I continue to flub things daily (which I prefer to call "material"), but in case you don't need or want "material" in the same way I do, here are a few lapses in judgment you can avoid:
Enjoy your leverage before you get married.
We've all heard, "You can't change a man," and I knew from dating that it was best not to get into a relationship with someone I might want to change. What I did not know until it was too late, however, was that when you're dating, you have much more leverage to request a change than once you're married. If a guy wants to marry you, he might be willing to alter his behavior a little to avoid losing you. He might agree to stop smoking, drink less, wait on getting a dog, or, say, get rid of his machete collection. But, once you’re married, you really have no leverage at all — unless you want to be single again. And, once you finally find someone you want to marry, the thought of being single again seems worse than a machete collection.
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Originally written by Cindy Chupack