How to Be a MAN in Your Online Dating Profile

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How to Be a MAN in Your Online Dating Profile
Funny, Sassy article about the frustrations of reading online profiles of men

How To Be A MAN In Your Online Dating Profile

As much as some of us hate to admit it, online dating is here to stay. Many companies have great success rates for relationships and marriage, and I'm glad technology has the ability to aid some of us in finding true love.

 

Yet true love also still eludes many of us involved in online dating.

One of the biggest advantages these sites supposedly offer is volume. You can sort through five or more supposedly “highly qualified leads” – in some cases daily. The question is, whose definition of highly qualified are we talking about?

Certainly not mine, and according to the women in my circles, not theirs either.

It's not so much that the gentlemen themselves aren't high quality (though some aren't) – it's the marketing. Bad pictures, poorly written profiles, and misleading information make it frustrating or annoying to sort effectively. For example, the guy who "wants a relationship" but by all other factors in his profile is clearly looking for a hookup. That’s fine, but own it! Don’t say you want a relationship if you don’t.

If you want to be a MAN in your online dating profile and truly use the site(s) to attract the woman of your dreams, here are some suggestions. Actually, even if you’re on the site just to date, trust me, gentlemen, you’ll have better results if you make these few minor adjustments:

1. Stop taking half-naked photos of yourself in the bathroom mirror.

Half the time, the flash blocks the picture. And seeing a toilet, dirty shower, and you standing in a 4’ x 6’ box is mos def not a turn on.

Now, if you're laid out in a hot tub in a beautiful bathroom with a view of the ocean behind it, that's a different story. Look, we do want to see your hot bod; but get a friend to take a few pix at the gym or a sporting event. Stay out of the bathroom! We really don't want to think about what went on in there before or after you took the picture.

2. Write more than a paragraph if you actually want a date.

Two sentences is fine for a booty call. But if you check the box "wants a relationship" and then don't take the time and effort to write a decent profile, the message we receive is: "I'm looking for a hookup” and “I use love to get sex."

Actually, that last part is giving you too much credit - it would require self-awareness.

3. Open with more than, "Hi" when you send an email.

For goodness sake, what kind of lazy introduction is that? Sure, it works at a party; we’re face-to-face, making eye contact. We can feel or not feel the chemistry, and usually go right into a conversation about what's happening where we are.

But online, all I have is your profile. With just “Hi,” I have to assume you’re either disinterested, bored, or simply inarticulate. No matter what your excuse is for not writing more, it's lame and a turn off. I can't tell you how many women just don't respond to guys who just write one word.

4. No photos with shades.

You are not famous.

There are no paparazzi.

Take off your sunglasses and let us see the real you.

5. Stop tipping a 40 to your homies!

Taking pix of yourself on the way to being drunk off your ass is not inspiring. We’re not in college anymore and this isn’t a frat. Which leads right into:

6. Stop putting up pix of you with the gaggle of bitches you were hanging out with during your drunken escapades.

I'm not interested in how you are with all women.