The Bachelor. You love it, you hate it, you love-hate it.
This season, former professional soccer player Juan Pablo Galavis left us cringing more times than ever. And since we all know this show's track record for successful couples, it's unlikely JuanPab and tonight's final rose winner will make it to their happily-ever-after. (Heck, these reports say they're already broken up!)
Still, there's something about finding your soul mate by competing with 24 other gorgeous women that hooks us season after season. What did we learn from all those "most dramatic ever" rose ceremonies? This:
1. It really is all about first impressions. Don't do anything to freak him out. Cough, Clare, cough.
2. Never drink too much on a date. Especially a first date.
3. To have sex or not to have sex? Only if you're feeling it!
4. Skinny dipping will certainly up your odds for getting another date.
5. By the way, roses can sometimes be a little cliché.
6. You will cry during your courtship.
7. And you will ugly cry.
8. If you're a little too vocal about your desire to find Mr. Right, you might come off as desperate, crazy, needy or sad.
9. Don't believe a guy who relies on cheesiness to express his true feelings.
10. Love will not come if you're not in it For. The. Right. Reasons!
11. It hurts, but love can sometimes be one-sided. #reciprocatethisbitches
12. He may listen to his head before he listens to his heart. (Yes, we're talking about that head.)
13. The friendzone is a great place to be with a guy — if you're looking for more friends.
15. There's a significant difference between love and lust.
16. Lastly, all is fair in love and reality TV.