We all know partners who have been to couples counseling with amazing success — maybe you've even been there yourself. But what about the rest of them? Because couples therapy is such a great tool to help a couple work through their problems and stick together, we may assume that the therapist has some sort of special power that enables this transformation. Unfortunately, this is simply not the case. There are many different ways that we may sabotage our own therapy, maybe without even realizing it — until it's too late.

At what point do we have to accept that the relationship may be over and no amount of counseling will help? YourTango Experts Senior VP Melanie Gorman is joined by relationship experts Andre Moore, Christopher Smith, Sue Butler and Cheryl Gerson who share their own experiences and stories from real couples who have sought their help. They discuss the signs that these couples showed, which showed that therapy with a marriage counselor was all but doomed. If you want your relationship to work, you both have to be willing to put in the effort. Therapy can't be the be all end all if your heart is not really in it to win it.

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