Not every woman has aspirations of becoming a mommy. We don't all "ooh" and "ah" every time we see a newborn in a carriage. And not all of us are deafened by the ominous sounds of our biological clocks sounding off. After all, life as a footloose and worry-free modern woman is pretty great--until you meet the man of your dreams. And his dreams include babies.
You've thought about it long and hard and the answer always comes out the same. You don't want kids. So now you have to do the dreaded deed--you have to look into his adoring and hopeful eyes and tell him that you don't want his baby.
Never having a child may seem inconsequential to you. And, maybe, it won't be a deal-breaker for him either. It is important to broach the subject with ease in order to find out. Perhaps, you could begin with a casual comment like, "I often worry about bringing a kid into this crazy world" or "I don't think I would ever have the patience to be a parent." From there, the conversation can flow naturally into a discussion on where both of you stand when it comes to wanting children.
Be completely honest.
While you won't likely want to raise the issue of kids on a first date, it is important to tackle the topic before you become serious. If you are adamantly against having children and he says his like won't be complete without them, you may want to reconsider your relationship.
Don't count on a change that may never happen.
One of you may change your mind down the road, but it would be foolish to count on it. You can only make decisions based on what you know to be true right now. You don't want kids, so there is no point in pretending that sometime down the road you will be overcome by undeniable maternal instincts.
What if you're already pregnant?
If you find yourself in the "family way" and really don't want to keep it, it is important to discuss your options with your partner. Remember to keep an open mind. Even though he will not experience the actual physical changes associated with a pregnancy, he will be emotionally invested.
You are likely finding your situation stressful, but you need to approach the subject with care and an open mind. Some women discover that once they are pregnant, their feelings towards motherhood change. If you find a part of you is looking forward to being a mom, you may not have been as non-maternal as you first imagined.
If you truly do not wish to keep the baby, you do have other options. If your man truly yearns to be a daddy, he may wish to raise the baby on his own. If you are certain that motherhood is not for you, but he is definitely prime father material, this may be a viable option worth considering.
If he is leery of raising a child on his own, you can also look into what is involved with giving a baby up for adoption. There a plenty of couples who long to have a child and would provide your baby with an excellent life.
Yes, some women much prefer the pitter patter of canine feet to the cooing of human offspring. And there is nothing wrong with that. The important thing is that you and your significant other are open and upfront and strive towards a shared vision of the future.
What have you found the most challenging part of being a woman who doesn't want children?