What Women Really Think … Of Your Teeth

By

shane MacGowan
Are bad teeth a dealbreaker? Do women even notice? Ladies get real about teeth.

It's about this time every year that the song "Fairytale of New York," by The Pogues, one of the best Christmas songs of all time, shows up in my Facebook and Twitter feeds at least a few times a day. Holidays aside, The Pogues, an Irish band formed in the early 80s, is not only known for its lead singer, Shane MacGowan, but also for Shane's teeth. His teeth, if you can even call them that, are legendary (Google "bad teeth" and his chompers show up more than once), are the type of thing that make people cry, and cry a lot. Although he's since gotten dentures, MacGowan's former teeth are just as famous as his Christmas ode to New York City.

So with the thought of wonky mouths on the brain, I thought this week I'd ask ladies their thoughts on teeth. Are perfectly straight pearly whites a necessity? Or are crooked teeth somehow charming? What makes a sexy mouth?

 

With a photo of MacGowan to get everyone in the holiday mood, the conversation started.

Bring on the snaggle teeth!
"Slightly crooked is much more appealing than robot straight," says Brynn, 27.

"I have crooked teeth on my bottom row that my dentist never seemed to be concerned about, so I also grew up not being concerned about them. I've been told they're sexy, but I'm sure some people would be like yo girl, get braces. If anyone told me to get braces though, I'd give them the middle finger. I've honestly never even noticed a guy's teeth before, so I guess I just don't really care," says Sabrina, 27.

"Some of us dabble with the snaggle," says Melissa, 35.

"[My husband] has one crooked tooth that only shows up when he smiles a certain way. And I'm the only one who makes him smile that way. So. Yes. I lost track of what I was saying," says Colleen, 29.

As long as they're not "too" bad, all's good.
"I mean, there's such thing as teeth that are TOO jacked up, but generally I'm not a teeth snob ... like, as long as the smile shape is good?" asks Amanda, 25.

"I don't notice teeth unless they're particularly disgusting ... like the teeth of that guy [Shane MacGowan]," says Autumn, 24.

"His teeth don't have to be perfect, but obviously should be taken care of," says Cassie, 25.

But then there are those who want your teeth to sparkle, at least a wee bit.
"I'm picky about teeth. I can't get it up for teeth that are too small or jack-o-lantern-like with spaces in between. They don't need to be perfect but certain teeth really turn me off," says Amelia, 34.

"I'm really skeptical of guys with bad teeth. If they can't step it up enough to take care of their teeth, then what does that say about the rest of their hygiene?" asks Patricia, 30.

As for meth mouth?
"When I see a mouth full of bad teeth, all I can think about is how much that mouth smells like sh*t, and all the rotting that's constantly going on. In 2013, there's no excuse for having bad teeth — meth or not, but especially not" says Jennie, 32.

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