Are you fed up with dating? Convinced everybody that's single besides you is crazy? Can't quite figure out why your relationships never seem to last longer than an episode of Scandal? It's possible you may be self-sabotaging your own happiness.
If your relationship resume reads like a sketch comedy show filled with only the most absurd situational parodies — think Martin meets Curb Your Enthusiasm — keep reading as we delve into several ways you might be guilty of self-sabotage. There are people in all walks of life who struggle with it. Often, it operates as a stealthy assassin by routinely disguising itself as somebody else's issue. If you just can't seem to get it right in your relationships, at some point you have to accept that the common denominator is you. Many people who are guilty of self-sabotaging are unaware of how their own decision making adversely affects their relationships and general happiness. Below are the 4 keys to turn catastrophic occurrences into a far greater likelihood of happiness — relationship or not.
1. Acknowledge the patterns. It has been said the definition of insanity is doing the exact same thing twice (or several times), while expecting a different result each time. If you frequent the same places, wear the same type of clothes, and give your number to the same "type" of people, you're bound to meet the same kind of men or women. Note, let it be said that "type" doesn't necessarily mean physical aesthetic or appearance. I told a friend of mine (a habitual self-saboteur) he had a problem going after the same kind of women. He countered with, "I date all different shapes and sizes." To him, as long as they looked differently, they had to be different. Contrary to what he believes, the same "type" refers to the overall character of a person, not what they wear. Sure, there are correlations between presentation and how we think and act, but you cannot ignore patterns. If the last three people you dated all had trust issues or were controlling, it may be time to reexamine what you're attracted to and why.
Read the rest over at Uptown Magazine: 4 Ways To Stop The Cycle of Self Sabotage In Relationships
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