Learn to weather the storms of life throughout your marriage and strengthen your relationship.
All couples face difficult marital problems that seem devastating when you first face them, but if you keep things in perspective and work through these issues slowly and methodically then your marriage can actually be strengthened by them. As I have shared before on this blog, in my 30 plus years of marriage, my wife and I have dealt with a lot of struggles throughout our marriage, but by God's grace our relationship has always thrived.
When two people spend so much time with their spouse there will be moments, if not days, of craziness where you are at deep odds with one another. The most important thing to remember is to not let these moments of marital madness ruin what is otherwise a healthy and loving relationship with your mate. Just remember....you are not alone.
There are no perfect marriages, in fact, most marriages have the exact same struggles. Below is a list of marital problems that many couples encounter even in a healthy marriage, but find a way to work through and get past.
Boredom in Your Relationship
Like many other things in life, you can get very bored with your mate and your relationship if you don't find meaningful ways to keep it fresh and exciting. Many couples who experience marital problems will indicate some form of boredom with their mate. When you spend almost every single day together, you are going to find boredom a challenge unless you come up with a plan as a couple to do different things to keep your relationship fresh. You may want to try new hobbies together; things that the two of you can enjoy together. For example, my wife and I began hiking together just a few years ago. It provides us a nice form of exercise, but it also has opened up new opportunities to talk with one another and share our thoughts and plans for the future. There are many other things you can do to beat the boredom in your marriage, including traveling to new places, eating at different restaurants and other similar things, but there is one thing that you can do to keep your marriage exciting and fun that every couple agrees with completely. If you want to keep boredom and marital problems away, then get creative in the bedroom. Try new positions, new locations, new techniques, new toys or whatever you and your spouse both agree on and are comfortable with so things stay passionate and hot. This is one of the best cures for boredom in any marriage.
The In-Laws and Family
Some of the most challenging marital problems center around family issues. We all have a family member or two who just seems to create havoc no matter the circumstances. It could be one or both of your mothers who just can't keep out of your personal matters. It could be a sibling that is always calling or showing up at the most inopportune times. While you know and accept the quirkiness of your family members, your mate may find it difficult to deal with their quirks, particularly during stressful times. This is when you both have be understanding to one another and try to intervene with the family member who is creating the problem. The main thing that both of you need to do is be respectful of each other's family, even the members who create problems and stress for you in your marriage.
One of the biggest marital problems most couples face is some form financial challenge. Either the couple is deep in debt from charging everything on a credit card or they have different priorities for spending their money. Sometimes these financial challenges begin on the first day of your marriage because one or both spouses has student loans to pay off and/or they end up charging a large amount of money on credit card related to the wedding or for furniture for their new apartment or home.
Besides serious debt, another major financial issue is having different priorities than your spouse regarding where you should spend your money. She wants to have the latest fashions, beauty aids, shoes etc. while he wants to have the latest high tech devices, new cars or go to major sporting events. Your budget won't allow for you to have all of these things so both of you will need to compromise your priorities or these money issues will destroy your relationship.
The first thing you will need to do is to sit down and talk about your differences then come to an agreement about how you can work through these challenges together. You will need to set up a basic budget that will not only pay your bills, but also will help to tackle the debt that you have already incurred. You will have to learn how to discipline yourself to follow that budget with a mutual goal to become debt-free, except for your house, so that you will ultimately you will have better control of your financial destiny. By doing this, you will nearly eliminate the financial stresses of life.
Infertility and/or Struggles to Conceive Children
This one might surprise some people, but infertility or the struggle to have children when both partners want children puts a lot of pressure on the marriage. Most couples who go into their marriage with the intent on having children think it it will be a simple process once they decide the time is right to start a family. Unfortunately, there are a lot of physical reasons why two people cannot bear children and no matter what they try nothing seems to help. When that happens, one or both partners has to subject themselves to a series of tests by doctors to try to determine what the problem is and these tests are usually unexpected financial burden. It all adds up to a marital problem that no one wants to face and a stress on the marriage that can have very dire results. The most important thing to do during this time is to be there for each other. No one is to blame for this, therefore, you have to support one another during this trying time. Ultimately, if you try several medical procedures to help you get pregnant and it still does not happen then you should consider other alternatives that will positively affect the lives of some children in need. You could adopt a child or children who do not have parents that want them. You may even consider becoming a foster parent to children who have lost their parents for one reason or another.
Home Ownership Stress
This is another one of those marital problems that people don't really think about a lot, but home ownership puts a ton of pressure on couples. When you own your home, you have to pay for all upkeep and maintenance. When the furnace goes out, there is no landlord to call; it is on you to pay for and fix. When the grass needs to be cut and the lawnmower is broken its on you. One of the biggest challenges that many couple find is that they buy more house than they can afford. The mortgage company or bank is willing to lend you a certain amount of money based on their formulas and your income, but neither the banks or you can foresee those unexpected financial challenges that come up later. Nor can they foresee that one of you may lose your job long after the mortgage has been finalized. So be careful about not buying a house that you can easily afford, no matter what financial struggles that may come. By doing this, you will save a lot of pain and stress in your marriage.
While these are just a few of the marital problems you will face in your relationship, they represent some of the most challenging issues that you must overcome throughout your marriage. By keeping your cool, communicating clearly with your spouse and not over-reacting to any of these problems, you can weather the storms of life throughout your marriage and strengthen your relationship.