As a former waitress, my number one red flag is a poor tipper. OK, if your first date experience is really lousy because the waiter forgets you exist or is unquestionably rude, fifteen percent may be in order. But barring extreme circumstances, a twenty percent (or above) tip is merited, and speaks volumes. Anyone in the service industry has a rough time of it, and a good tip reflects your possible future significant other's capacity for empathy. Whether or not your date can personally relate to whomever's just waited on them hand and foot, they've demonstrated understanding toward another's vulnerable financial circumstances. They've acknowledged the fact that their waitress, cab driver, pedicurist, etc. has probably put up with a lot of people's crap throughout the day, and are showing appreciation for their trying work. Ideally, these are all character traits that you'd want to see resurface in your daily interactions with the aforementioned generous tipper.
But that's just my opinion. Granted, the signs that make me uncomfortable, that I read into, are not necessarily the same things that give you that sinking feeling in your gut. Generally, though, it's good to think of your discomfort in a situation as your intuition trying to grab your attention. But before it gets to the point where you're battling yourself, unwilling to consciously acknowledge the truth, here are four tricks to spotting red flags in a relationship early on, according to clinical psychologist Jennifer Kromberg, PsyD. (And these don't just apply to romantic relationships — as you're probably well aware, knowing when to drop the axe on poisonous friendships is just as important.)
Read the rest over at Elizabeth Street: The Four Glaring Red Flags To Look Out For In A Relationship
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