The bad news: men lie and keep secrets from the women they love. The good news: They're not doing it to hurt you, in fact more often than not, they're doing it because they're either insecure or trying to protect you, according to YourTango Expert Abby Rodman, author of Should You Marry Him?
In Kelly Hunter's romantic thriller What the Bride Didn't Know, Lena and Adrian have known each other since childhood. Although the attraction between the two is palpable, Adrian knows Lena is off limits, after all she's the little sister of his best friend Jared. Now, all three work together as officers in the special ops and Lena and Adrian are sent on a top-secret mission to Istanbul where they must pretend to be married. An unexpected twist compels Adrian to keep a secret from Lena so big, that coming clean could destroy both their worlds.
YourTango previously asked real women about the secrets they keep from their men. Now, we've asked real men, "What do you hide from the women you love?" Check out some of their shocking responses. Then, read on for some expert thoughts on the differences between the secrets men and women keep from their partners.
Author Kelly Hunter is giving away copies of "What The Bride Didn't Know" to 5 YT readers. To enter, tell us in the comments below: What secret did you discover a partner was hiding from you?
I made significantly less money than my last two girlfriends and have thousands of dollars in credit card debt. -Mark, 28
This one's not exactly a secret, but I'm balding! -Jared, 31
I used to be way more in shape than I am now. -Rey, 25
My penis is a little crooked, but it works! -Anonymous, 26
I used to date a model. I'm not ashamed, but I know it would make my girlfriend self-conscious when she shouldn't be. -Alain, 34
All my serious relationships have been with women, but I'm bi. -Samuel, 38
I hate my job and want to go back to school, but I don't know what I want to do. -Joe, 36
Erectile dysfunction is a side effect of one of the medications I'm taking. -Danny, 30
Now that some real guys have come clean, it's time to consider what secrets your guy might have. We asked YourTango Expert and psychotherapist Abby Rodman how men approach secrets differently. Below are 4 interesting insights.
1) Men are more likely to feel insecure about their finances and careers.
In 2013, most women work, and most families are dual-income. But men are still more likely than women to express anxieties over their careers and finances. "Men are raised, in large part, to be providers," says YourTango Expert Abby Rodman, author of Should You Marry Him? "When they feel they're not providing, or their provisions aren't up to snuff, insecurities seep in." These insecurities aren't just about their own self-worth, but also their worth as boyfriends, husbands, or fathers. Men are also more likely to define themselves solely by their work, which can be especially painful in a troubled economy. Keep reading...
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