How could something or someone else’s problem create a problem between us? Is it really worth for us to fight for someone else’s fault? I decided to just shut down my mouth and listen to her without any pre-judgment when she is upset. For a lot of times, she felt much better when I just sat down with her and listen to her. Women just need someone to talk to, they will figure out what to do themselves when they feel better. As men, our job is to make them feel better when they are down.
4. Be the leader of your relationship
By natural traits, women like men who are proactively leading the relationship. If you observe those successful men who are attractive to women, you will find most of them have the traits as a leader. It doesn’t mean you need to act as a king to order her do this or that. You need to come up with ideas and should be clear about where your relationship is heading to. Do you have a plan what you are going to be like next year if you are together? Do you have any plan what you want to do with her next weekend? Or if you are going out for dinner, do you have any choices?
I use to think it’s just being generals to let ladies to choose the place they like. I was totally wrong. Saying ‘anything is fine’ when she asks what to eat is just turning a woman off. She won’t appreciate, because she feels like she is leading this relationship. You should offer her options and let her choose, she will appreciate that you are prepared and she feels like you are leading her.
5. One Valentine a year is not enough
Damm! The rose and chocolate are going to be ridiculously expensive again. Don’t be scared by this title. I know how you feel when valentine is coming. What I want to say is women need to feel loved often. Don’t wait until valentine to buy her a big gift, buy her twelve small gifts. You can easily do something to make her feel loved. You don’t have to always buy her gifts.
This is a rare relationship advice for men to find in most relationship books, I read it from a psychological book but it applies to relationships. According to the book, women like to consider the amount of love rather than the size of love. Make some small but meaningful gifts for her often, you won’t need to spend much money on it or you don’t even need to spend money at all. Think creatively, I once made a bracelet with a set of old guitar strings for my wife, she just love it. Be creative, it’s not necessary to spend money for romance. I'm not telling you to be cheap, I'm telling you it's not working if you think just burn money on her can make her fall in love with you.
These five tips helped our relationship to grow stronger and having fewer issues as other couples around us. There are of course more areas you need to work on in your relationship. I will share it in other posts later.
Anthony Watson writes about how to improve communication in relationship at YourTango. He also wrote a report called "Better Relationship Communication", about how you can communicate with your partner without getting into conflicts. You can get his report free at http://committedlove.com.