I think it’s important in any intimate relationship for both people to pay attention to the reactions you each have to the other person. And then determine how much of that reaction is because of ‘your stuff’ and how much might be because they truly aren’t a good match for you. From the point of view of a client selecting a coach I think it’s important to- 1) Feel they’re on your side 2) Believe they want you to succeed 3) Confirm they offer a variety of coaching options, because one size doesn’t fit all 4) Confirm they will be a compassionate and honest sounding board From the point of view of the coach I think it’s important – 1) Know your skills can help them reach their goal 2) Like them as a person 3) Know if you can be flexible in your coaching style 4) Be comfortable saying you aren’t a good match 5) Hopefully have someone you can refer them to who can help them.
Do you work with clients who are also seeing a therapist to ensure that issues best dealt with in therapy are properly addressed?
Oh yes. I’m a great advocate of therapy. I know there are issues that are outside my expertise and I have a therapist that I refer my client’s to. She also sends me client’s who want to specifically work through issues they have around dating. What kind of training do you have as a coach?
Since coaching is not regulated the way social workers and marriage and family therapists are, how can people do their due diligence to select a well trained coach?
This is such an important question because of the fact you stated that coaches aren’t regulated. I think one of the best ways to qualify a coach is to be referred by someone who knows them. Most of my client’s have come to me as a referral from a friend or a current client. An aside to this comment – I never talk about my clients to anyone. I have a friend who is very happily married who recommended 4 of the people I’m currently working with. This friend and I had lunch recently and she sent out an email to about 10 of her single friends telling them about some of the fun things we talked about at lunch and how they might want to talk to me. My 4 client’s each commented that they were pleased to confirm that I hadn’t discussed their coaching with our mutual friend. Two of them have referred their single friends to me. It can be a challenge to ask for references because most people aren’t comfortable talking to strangers about their coaching experience so another way to learn about a coach you’re considering is to read testimonials on their web site or read articles they write and how they address any comments.