He's no Clooney, but you're bored and he's available — that doesn't mean you should date!
[Editor's note: Bo Sellers is a Los Angeles-based comedian, who appeared this season on Oxygen's My Big Fat Revenge. In her last article, Bo wrote about the love lies that we hear on first dates from corny one-liners like "I'm not a player" to exaggerating the truth about our exes ("Your last girlfriend was a supermodel...? Really now?"). Here, she delves into the lies we tell ourselves!]
Preparing for a first date is no easy task. Not wanting our first impression to be our last, us women will go to extremes to look and feel our most fabulous selves. From waxing to full-body seaweed wraps, no area is left untouched in our preparation ... including our mental game.
We commonly tell ourselves five dating lies to (eventually) find our Prince Charming. But here's why we should stop believing in them:
5. "I'm ready to date." You just broke up with the "love of your life" and after a week of binge drinking you're REALLY ready to move on? Riiiiight. Whatever helps you lay off the self-destruction. But looping John Mayer's "Edge of Desire" while killing a pint of Ben & Jerry's, as warm tears burn your icy cheeks, hardly screams "Bring on the next one!" Take time off. Date yourself. Otherwise, you'll end up crying over a pile of raw sushi. And no one has the right to desecrate sushi! Not even you, Bridget Jones.
4. "I don't care where he takes me." Unless you're totes down to twist an ankle playing laser tag in six-inch heels, don't be afraid to ask him where you're going. The odds are he's looking to impress you as much as you're looking to be impressed and neither of you will enjoy yourselves if you spend the evening complaining about how uncomfortable you are.
3. "I'm not attracted to him now, but I could be in the future." He's no Clooney, but you're bored and he's available. Trying to convince yourself you could become attracted to someone (who doesn't instantly make you drool over his hotness) is probably the worst lie a woman can tell herself. This exact lie is the first ingredient to misleading men before the entire recipe lands him in the friend-zone. Sure, you can hang out with him, but make your intentions of friendship clear and don't allow him to buy you anything.
2. "I'll only have one drink." A noble quest, darling, but this lie is almost always a jinx to wake up with a champagne-hangover replaying the previous nights' questionable life choices. There's nothing wrong with drinking, until there is. Save your game-day-tolerance for "ladies night" so he's not calling you a cab before the entrée arrives.
1. "There's no need to shave my legs because I'm not going to sleep with him." I know I'm not the only woman guilty of this lie. Let's be honest, ladies. We can be just as sexual as men. The date starts innocently enough, until you realize you both love Sour Patch Kids and spent your summers acting rebellious at summer camp. He's obviously your soul mate! Next thing you know, you wake up naked and the magic of the evening has dissipated so he's no longer willing to pardon the national forest you've been growing on your poonahnah.
Masters of over-analyzing, we know ourselves too well to really believe our lies. Do yourself a favor and go into a date with your most honest sense of self. It'll allow you to stay present and enjoy each moment for what it is versus pressuring yourself and your date to be the next Noah and Allie.
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