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Break the ice with a sexy school marm this Halloween.
By Tom Miller — Written on Sep 13, 2018
It's Halloween, the one time of year that people really take off their masks. (Metaphor. Hmm? No? Well, then you should try taking a literature class.) Anyway, this year (again), the look for guys is powerful or clever, and for women it's sexy (insert title of traditionally marginally sexy profession).
I'm glad the breadth of human existence manifests itself every October 31st. But there's a good chance you'll be invited to either a Halloween party or a bar filled with costume-clad revelers who you'd like to see out of their costumes. And the best way to start is with some Halloween pick-up lines.
We're all working under the proviso that pick-up lines don't work and are just meant to start a conversation, right? And as always, being good looking and flirting with charm really helps. But try these on for size.
1. "Son of a b****, that could've been embarrassing."
When to use: Someone has a unique costume that highlights some physical aspect you don't possess (i.e., she's Wonder Woman, and he's a big, fat party animal).
2. "Lil Kim from Moulin Rouge, right?"
When to use: She (or he) is dressed as something incredibly far removed from Moulin Rouge.
3. "I was going to go as a polar bear, but I figured [Insert Your Costume] could break the ice, too."
When to use: It's fairly universal.
4. "I bet you're looking for an outlaw."
When to use: Anyone dressed in a "sexy" costume is looking for attention, so give her that attention. Also, if he/she is clearly lacking a "partner costume," it's nice that someone has your back.
5. "I'm a doctor and you look like you could use these shots."
When to use: You're attending a boozy affair and the free drink is a classic ice-breaking vehicle.
6. "You must be an off-duty UPS worker 'cause I keep seeing you checking out my package."
When to use: Never. Okay, if you're really good looking AND the person seems to have a sense of humor, use at your own risk.
7. "I was going to go as a ghost, but you'll get to see my sheets later."
When to use: See UPS line above.
8. "Will you be my Valentine? I can wait."
When to use: It's kind of adorable, so use whenever.
9. "Let me take off my mask and get a better look at you."
When to use: When you're not wearing a mask, people seem to like self-deprecation.
10. "Next year, let's go as a unicorn. You want front or back?"
When to use: Again, you're charming, she has a sense of humor and you want her to know you're a gentleman by offering a choice.
11. "I know I just met you, but I already like you more than candy corn."
When to use: Literally anytime. Candy corn is gross.
12. "Either you or this costume is doing something down below."
When to use: Never, unless you're wearing a skeleton costume and are Ryan Gosling.
13. "Is that a Great Pumpkin in your pocket or are you just excited to see me?"
When to use: Never, unless you're George Clooney dressed as Charlie Brown and she's a 25-year-old waitress.
Drink responsibly, hook up even more responsibly, and if you wear a "clever" costume, use that spare time to feed starving children instead.
Tom Miller is a writer and performer based in New York. He's been a mechanical engineer and a banker. He's been the general manager and coordinating video producer at YourTango for 12 years. He's probably listening to Bryan Adams' "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" as we speak.