What happened? I can't speak for him. For myself, I sabotaged it by doing all the things one doesn't do to scare a guy away. Why did I do it? I was petrified at the thought of being hurt that way again. My first love knew everything and losing him felt like a part of my soul was ripped out of me. Enduring that kind of pain was hard enough once. To undergo it a second time had me paralyzed with fear.
Love for me has been an experience of having one foot on the accelerator of a Mercedes and the other pressing hard down on the brake. So my efforts go nowhere. Do I want this? No! I want my foot off the brake but it won't budge. It wants to protect me. What do I do?
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Tamara's remedy is to set a love intention, make it your mantra, meditate and cultivate a spiritual practice. According to Dr. Diana Kirschner, here are some examples of powerful and focused love intentions: I have a devoted, loving, excited and exciting life partner. I have a great, devoted companion who goes on world adventures with me. I am married to a fabulous guy who is just right for me.
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Tamara and I worked together to develop one that my subconscious would accept. We conjured up the mantra 'I'm in a mad life long love affair with my twin flame whom I can tell anything and everything with exuberance'. There is something about the disclosure effect that the rare man evokes in me. It has to be there naturally because it is the one thing that takes down the walls around my heart.