Love mentor Tamara Green on the power of intention
Tamara Green, LCSW is a Loving Relationship Expert and Love Mentor® trained and certified by Dr. Diana Kirschner, author of Love in 90 Days. Tamara guides singles as they navigate their way towards their true love. Love is easy. It is people who make it complicated. Love is not to be sought or found. Love is allowed into one's life. One can't promote themselves to win love. Love is attracted in. Like a moth to a flame. Love is the highest vibration. It is irresistible.
Pure love can be seen in babies and puppies and kittens. Unless you are anti-social you can't help but want to pick them up and hug them. Are these cuties doing anything to get love? Not at all. They are just being love. Love radiates something fierce because it brings anyone to tears. Only love attracts love. If you don't believe me try being hateful and see who and what shows up.
Recently, I had my own lesson in the vibration of love. Tamara said to me that one is either expanding or contracting towards something. It comes down to our thoughts, emotions, and actions. All these elements are variables in one's magnetism or lack of it. When you are expanding into love you are thinking, feeling, acting loving. Just like the baby, puppy, or kitten. If it is so simple why is love so hard to find? The problem is in finding it. You can't find it. It starts with you. When it comes to romantic love the biggest barrier is within. Being so resistant is an inside out job.
Romantic love is about meeting alot of the right people for you, creating rapport, and being an open space for love. Love won't happen if a person is terrified of it. For me, I am beyond terrified, I'm horrified beyond words of love. It wasn't always this way. Something happened along the way that made me build a fortress around my heart. From that moment on all acts of sabotage happened.
Fear only attracts validation for its existence and that is exactly what happened. The first time I fell in love I felt I could tell him anything. There wasn't a thing I didn't want to share with him. Whether it was good or bad he would be the first to know. He didn't judge me. All he did was accept me. It was the others who didn't accept us. So when we broke apart I felt shattered and then came the wall around my heart.
For the next few years others came close but no one had that exuberant effect on me. The one where I was an open book. I'm intensely private but with him I was transparent, raw, vulnerable, and utterly me. He saw me laugh and cry. Most men have only seen me be witty or annoyed. My first love, like all first loves, are unique. I believed that the reason why I was so open with him was because he occupied that spot. That was probably it.
Wrong. It happened again. A man showed up who had a truth serum effect on me. Like it was 15 years earlier, I felt like I could tell him anything, from the first time I heard his voice. There was this ease and breeze about his effect on me. Not only did I feel an odd exuberance to disclose my life and its past, I simply just wanted to.
What happened? I can't speak for him. For myself, I sabotaged it by doing all the things one doesn't do to scare a guy away. Why did I do it? I was petrified at the thought of being hurt that way again. My first love knew everything and losing him felt like a part of my soul was ripped out of me. Enduring that kind of pain was hard enough once. To undergo it a second time had me paralyzed with fear.
Love for me has been an experience of having one foot on the accelerator of a Mercedes and the other pressing hard down on the brake. So my efforts go nowhere. Do I want this? No! I want my foot off the brake but it won't budge. It wants to protect me. What do I do?
Tamara's remedy is to set a love intention, make it your mantra, meditate and cultivate a spiritual practice. According to Dr. Diana Kirschner, here are some examples of powerful and focused love intentions: I have a devoted, loving, excited and exciting life partner. I have a great, devoted companion who goes on world adventures with me. I am married to a fabulous guy who is just right for me.
Tamara and I worked together to develop one that my subconscious would accept. We conjured up the mantra 'I'm in a mad life long love affair with my twin flame whom I can tell anything and everything with exuberance'. There is something about the disclosure effect that the rare man evokes in me. It has to be there naturally because it is the one thing that takes down the walls around my heart.