Stop the Insanity of Hiring Dating Coaches!


Stop the Insanity of Hiring Dating Coaches!
Just hire a matchmaker and find your match. SIMPLE.

Personally I am tired of all the dating coaches who promote this perpetual belief changing and transformation agenda. Like self-help, too much of it can be counter productive. If anything it can wreck your confidence and give you all the more reasons as to why not you when it comes to having true love.

Why are some people still single despite all their desire and efforts to find love? It's different for everyone.


Where I am at in my journey is that I'm more interested in getting to the root of the problem. However, single is not a pathology to cure. Rather, it may be a symptom of something else. If someone doesn't believe they are worthy of a healthy long lasting love, it often stems from harsh experiences in childhood.

These early experiences could have led to deeply ingrained defeatist thoughts. As crazy as it sounds they can't change their thoughts into the positive even if its what they want. However, all is not lost. For example, EMDR is one fast and effective way of dealing with the root cause of not being able to receive something good, such as true love, into one's life.

What it came down to for me was a feeling very personal for me. Eventually I felt that by following all the online and offline dating advice, I was turning myself into a man chaser. That was the last thing I wanted to be!

My whole life has been about pursuing my goals and cultivating interests. Growing up, it was the girls who chased guys who ended up lost and often love addicts in need of recovery! Chasing and seeking after anything creates a mindset of lack which becomes a viscous cycle of more lack and frustration. It's impossible to attract a healthy kind of love and partner when you are chronically feeling depleted and irritated.

Most dating coaches mean well but often by their clients staying single they making more money. In the end, there comes a time when it becomes mental gymnastics more than breakthroughs in internal mindsets so you let love in. Kathryn Alice's "Love Will Find You" is a perfect example of what I just described because her program did just that. Alice's claims have never been verified and most people who were single two years ago or longer who bought into her method are still single and sad about it.

I'm convinced that all the dating coaching, not the healing work like EMDR or Imago therapy, are one big mind melt that prevents partnership. It's like reading the manual for how to drive a Mercedes. You don't really master the art of a Mercedes in motion without driving the Mercedes itself. The rubber hits the road when you actually get behind the wheel, and drive the car, and practice till you are a pro.

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