This topic is interesting because it goes both ways. Women are master illusionists, with the hair, makeup, boob jobs, shoes and clothing. (6 Reasons Why Men Dislike Women with Fake Hair, Boobs, Butt Pads, Bra Pads or Too Much) But men also know the game and what women want: success, a good home, 2.5 kids, a dog, etc., and for the most part, an easy life. It seems like even the strongest woman is weakened by the right man and right presentation. This is how we pull the wool over your eyes, strike and eat before you even realize what happened. In fact, you’re still floating on cloud nine by the time you realize there was really no cloud at all, just an illusion. This is how many intelligent women make the absolute worse choices when it comes to relationships. In the boardroom, they are Billie Badass, but let the right-but-wrong man get a hold of them, and the walls of Jericho come tumbling down. You say, “What happened? Help! How did I make such a bad decision?” It was simple: You fell for the illusion, of which women are the true masters. It's kind of like setting a mousetrap and forgetting it was there. You turn around and it's your ass that's caught in it.
The number-one reason smart women make bad relationship choices is that we are all rushing to keep up with this invisible clock that’s driving us crazy. This is how you fix it. When someone, anyone, including your mama, asks how old you are, you say “timeless.” Why? Because your body follows your mind, so tell it what to do. Even the smartest of us make the most horrid mistakes when it comes to relationships, simply because we are rushing.
The second most common reason is the fear of being alone. I know, you’re not getting any younger, right? The more you think about being lonely, the more you draw that energy to you. So here's the plan. Go buy something hot and sexy, new panties included. I’m sorry, as a woman you should make it a rule that when you are rocking a new, sexy outfit, the panties must be new. Otherwise, don’t wear any at all. Sizzling hot! Get the weekly newspaper, the one with local events. Pick one. Call up a girlfriend if you have one; if not, go by yourself and expect something great to happen. I guarantee you something great will, simply because you are expecting it to. If not, you can come slap me in my face and call me daddy. But you will be fine. Be nice, smile and make eye contact.
The third reason women make bad relationship choices is that more than likely, the MOYD is not and will not be Brad Pitt. Jennifer Aniston could not even keep him, so what makes you think that you are the next prima donna on his hit list? Okay, maybe you might be. I will give you an A for positive thinking. Now, back to reality. The whole point is that it seems like all women are looking for the same man, or, more accurately, the same illusion. Trust that the man who fits this image knows it, and so like any good actor in a screenplay, he plays his role to a T--for about five seconds. You meet him on Monday morning; you’re in bed with him by Monday night. By the time you find out he does not have a job, it's Wednesday. On Friday, your payday comes around and he is there to borrow some money and your car so he can go look for a job. But not really, because he is going to see another chick in your car and take her out with the money he just borrowed from you. Damn. By the time two weeks roll around and your senses start coming back because he is not having mad sex with you anymore, you realize you have been played. So now you’re pissed at all men, but not yourself. Ooh. Yes, ooh, because you should have known better. But wait; it gets better. You go to the grocery store all pissed off because not only are you not going to get any more of that good dick, you got played, and of course did things you would never normally do on the first date. In the store, a nice guy approaches you. He’s not a supermodel, just a nice person. He smiles and shows interest, and you manage to give him your number after that horrendous experience you just went through--one of those you tend to want to forget when asked who you were dating previously. The nice guy calls you three times over a 48-hour period, and you don't even call back. (How Many Times Should A Guy Call A Girl Before He Gives Up?) I guess you need another player in your life. You need some more drama; it's good for the soul. Keep in mind, the universe always gives you what you need at any given time in your life, and not necessarily what you expect. So be nice to everybody. The man who will treat you the best is the man you are least likely to see. Why? Because he is the one who has to work the hardest to get your attention. Simple. Reward those men who work the hardest.
Scenario two: Back to the grocery store. The nice guy approaches you again to say hi, and to yourself you say, “What a relief after that horrendous experience I just went through.” You think, “This time I am going to do it differently.” You have it in your mind that the pastor was right: “I am going to wait until I get married to have sex.” (What Ever Happened to the Concept of the Virgin and Waiting to Have Sex Until You Get Married?) So, the nice guy calls you, and you actually return his call and make a date. You are making better choices already. He picks you up in his car and you go out to a nice restaurant. He pays, and of course being the virtuous, considerate and kind woman that you are, you leave the tip. Things are going great for a couple of weeks, with no sex. You are really getting to know this new guy, and now you are ready for him to meet your mama. Pump the brakes. You’re out to dinner again at your favorite restaurant; this new guy is really into you. The topic of who you dated previously comes up, and when it's your turn, you reluctantly talk about your most recent experience and come to find out, as he sits quietly, looking at you cross-eyed, that your one-night stand was his best friend, who was out in his car, after dropping him off at the airport the night you two met. And you had sex with no condom, at his place, on his couch. Damn. Suffice it to say that Dolly never heard from the nice guy again. The end. Need I say more?
Real quick; scenario three at the grocery store. Everything goes pretty much the same as scenario two, but two weeks into this new, hot and healthy beginning, you find out you’re pregnant by guy number one. Congrats!
The bottom line in dating is realizing that everything that glitters is not gold, and you can never judge a book by its cover without first opening it and reading the pages inside. A good foundation for a relationship is like any good book. It takes time to read it, just as you should when dating and getting to know someone, that is, if you are looking for a serious relationship. How do I know? Because I have made or witnessed all of the very same mistakes mentioned above.